


A Second Chance

by CraftyGrrl20



Series: Backstreet Project [2]
Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 07:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30001125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CraftyGrrl20/pseuds/CraftyGrrl20
Summary: Time has gone by, but Brian's actions still haunt him. Relationships still need healing. When an opportunity comes to aid the very town he attacked, Brian and the rest of the Backstreet Boys are willing to help. But not everyone is happy to see Brian back in town. And Zator still wants the amulets.
Series: Backstreet Project [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2195598
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> originally written in 2003 and posted on AbsoluteChaos.net under the penname "Maggie"

His eyes flew open as he gasped, forcing himself from the nightmare. He stayed on his back, breathing deeply until his heart slowed down to its normal rate. Feeling his wife's hand on his chest, he turned his gaze to her. She was still sleeping, cuddled up to his side. He smiled; glad to be back in her arms. He reached over and brushed away the hair that had fallen over her eyes, and then leaned over for a kiss.

"I love you, Leighanne," he whispered. "I always will."

He set his pillow under her hand, then crept out of bed and headed for the door. He wasn't going back to sleep soon, and he had to think. His feet directed him to the family room.

  
Leighanne stayed motionless as she watched her husband leave their room. She had felt it when Brian had been jolted from sleep by another nightmare. It wasn't the first time she had seen it happen, and previous attempts to get him to talk about his nightmares had been futile. She sat up and pulled back the covers, planning to go find him. She wanted to try one more time to get him talking about the nightmares. She doubted it would be successful, but she could at least attempt. As it was, they had only been sleeping together for a few months. Brian had been afraid to sleep in the same room with her right after they had returned home. It had hurt, but she understood his thinking and went along with him sleeping in a guestroom for a while. He finally returned to her on her birthday, though.

As she tied the sash of her robe, she heard little Baylee's voice through the monitor on her dresser. She smiled as he began babbling, and then said "mama”. Looking at the clock, Leighanne was surprised to discover that it was two o'clock in the morning. Two in the morning on her son's first birthday. She hurried to the nursery across the hall. As she opened the door, her little son sat up and grabbed onto the bars of his crib. Seeing his mother, he smiled and squealed.

"Mama!”

"Hi, Baylee. Do you need mommy?"

His only answer was to reach up for her. With a smile, Leighanne took her son in her arms and walked around the nursery. As she walked, her mind went back to a morning much like this one. Almost nine months ago, her husband had been taken away to serve one of the most evil beings alive, Emperor Zator. For over a month, he had been in training, serving Zator as Chief Commander of his armies. And during that time, Brian had become a monster, taking on the name of Kael. He had destroyed a town, taken his friends captive, and tortured them. But then he had realized what he was doing and tried to help his friends escape, nearly losing his life in the process. 

During the past eight months, Brian refused to talk about his experiences, no matter how many times he was asked. It was an incident that stayed between him, his wife, his cousin Kevin and their friends and fellow Backstreet brothers Howie, Alex, and Nick. Brian wanted it that way, and the others respected his decision. 

Baylee's soft snores brought Leighanne from her thoughts. She smiled, then planted a kiss on his head and put him back in his crib. She pressed the button to Baylee's musical nightlight to start the music back up. It was time to find her husband. 

She found him on the couch in the family room, looking at pictures and fingering the chain of his amulet around his neck. When had he put it on? Leighanne edged closer and rested her hand on his shoulder. She didn't expect him to almost jump off the couch and whirl around in fright. Brian sighed in relief when he saw her. 

"It's you. You scared me." 

"I'm sorry," Leighanne apologized as she sat beside him. "I just wanted to know if you were okay." 

"I'm fine. Really." 

At his wife's skeptical look, he turned back to the pictures. Leighanne followed his gaze and saw photographs of him and his fellow Backstreet Boys from past years. 

"What was the nightmare about this time?" 

Surprised azure eyes found hers. "Wh-what are you talking about?" 

"Brian, don't try to hide it. It may look like I'm sleeping, but I always know when you've had a nightmare. Honey, please," she took his hand, "don't be afraid to talk to me. A big part of marriage is communication, you know that." 

Brian turned away in silence, then stood and walked to a window. Leighanne sighed and got up to leave. _Maybe he'll talk about it later._

"Why do you still love me?" 

Leighanne froze in the doorway and looked back. "What?" 

"Why do you still love me, Leighanne? Howie told you what a horrible person I was. And I told you things he and the others didn't know. Yet you're still here, you and Baylee." 

Leighanne moved to stand beside him as he continued, amazed at his words. 

He turned to her. “It’s only been three months that I’ve been going back to church regularly. And that was an effort made by _you_. Why? And as far as prayer goes… why would He want to listen to me after what I’ve done?” 

Leighanne gasped in shock. “Brian, how can you say that? That’s an awful thing to say! Of course, He’ll listen to you. He’s always there, waiting for you to talk to Him.” 

"I can't forgive myself," he answered quietly. "How can He? How can anyone?" 

Leighanne regarded her husband's lost, forlorn look. The pain in his voice made her want to cry, but instead she said, "God always forgives. As for the rest... well, you'll have to seek answers one day at a time. Ask Him, Brian. Ask Him to forgive you, and guide you." 

"I can't," Brian whispered. 

"You must," she said, touching his arm. "For me, for Baylee... for yourself." 

"I can't erase the past," he said. 

"No," she agreed. "But you also can't let it ruin your future. What you do now, from this moment on, is what matters." 

Brian heard the truth in her words, saw the love and faith in her eyes. He realized that she had forgiven him... not forgotten, but forgiven. He had hurt her deeply, yet she had chosen to embrace the future rather than cling to the past. He knew he owed it to her to try. 

"I know you're right," he said hesitantly, "but... I don't know where to start. How to begin." 

Leighanne thought a moment. "When was the last time you read the Bible?" 

Brian blinked. How long had it been? Too long, he realized. Leighanne seemed to realize it, too, when he didn't answer. She crossed the room and picked up their Family Bible, gently running her fingers over the worn leather.

She brought the Book to him. "Would you like me to find a place for you to start?" 

"Please," Brian said. 

She sat down on the couch and waited until her husband was beside her. Turning through the passages, she found the first one. 

“Here,” she gave the Book to him, “read this one.” 

Brian took the Book from her and glanced down at the passage she was pointing to. It was the twenty-fifth Psalm, verses sixteen through eighteen. He ran his finger over the page and began to read aloud. 

“ ‘Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses. Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and…’ “ He stopped at the next word. 

When he couldn’t continue, Leighanne leaned over and finished reading for him, " ‘and forgive all my sins.’ " 

Brian exhaled and dropped the book in his lap, disgusted and ashamed of himself. He couldn't even say the word 'forgive'. 

"Let's try another one," Leighanne suggested as she turned the pages again. 

Brian sighed as Leigh gave the book back to him. She had turned to a passage in Isaiah, almost as though she had looked up these scriptures long before. 

"I, even I," he read, "am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins." 

"There, now," Leigh said, "that one wasn't so hard." 

"Yeah, well, it didn't have the word... it didn't have any words I couldn't say." 

She took his hand. "Think about what you just read," she said. "You'll find the answers you need. And remember you're not alone. I’m here, and so are your friends." 

Brian smiled and squeezed her hand. _Olive juice_ , he mouthed. 

Leighanne grinned, then kissed his cheek. “I’m going back to bed. Come when you’re ready. I love you.” 

Brian watched her go, then turned back to their Bible. It was still open to the passage in Isaiah. He stared at it, then began turning the pages again. He found the Psalm that Leighanne had shown him and read it aloud again. 

“Turn thee unto me,” he read, “and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses. Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and… and f…” 

With a growl of frustration, he closed the Bible. Why couldn’t he say it? It was such a simple word, so it should be simple to say. 

_Not for me_ , he thought. _Not after what I did._

~~~***~~~ 

Brian tried to put on a happy expression, despite how he really felt. Today was Baylee's first birthday, and the party they were giving was meant to be a joyful event. He felt anything but joyful, however. The talk he and Leigh had had the previous night hadn't helped much; he was still lacking answers. He tried to put his thoughts aside and rejoined the gathering. 

The scene that met his eyes actually did make him smile, just for a second. Nick was on his knees on the living room carpet, holding his hands out to a teetering Baylee. The child was grinning, eager to reach his Uncle Nicky and the bright blue ball he held. Leigh was laughing, and the other guests were giving encouragement to the one-year old. Giggling, Baylee tottered the final distance and squealed as he acquired his prize. He promptly plopped down, trying to stuff the ball into his mouth. 

"You just wanted the ball, birthday boy?" his daddy asked as he stepped fully into the room. 

"Da!" 

Brian knelt as Baylee tried to stand again. He wobbled once, but his Uncle Nick steadied him. Smiling, he started walking again, this time over to his dad. He squealed in delight when he saw Daddy smiling, and nearly toppled over in his hurry to get there. When he got closer, Daddy's hands reached out to guide him. 

Brian looked into his son's loving, trusting, accepting blue eyes and felt his heart twist. How could he have left this beautiful little boy to serve evil? This thought caused his smile to momentarily drop, but it came back when Baylee burbled in his arms, trying to chew on the ball, a birthday present from Nick. He felt someone’s gaze on him and looked up to see Howie watching him, his brown eyes a mix of happiness and concern. He shook his head slightly. He'd talk about it later. 

AJ, who had been taping the entire event, spoke. “Is it time for cake and ice cream yet?” 

“Kay!” Baylee squealed, dropping the ball to clap his hands. 

Brian laughed and stood with his son in his arms. “I guess it is.” 

The Littrell guests followed Brian into the dining room, where his mom Jackie was already lighting the candles to Baylee’s Pooh Bear cake. Brian glanced at his son and laughed. Baylee’s eyes had widened when he saw his cake. 

“Ooh.” 

Brian placed the birthday boy in his high chair, and then put the tiny Pooh Bear birthday crown on his head. 

As everyone began singing Happy Birthday, Nick, AJ, and Howie watched their friend. They had seen his smile momentarily drop away and his eyes darken in remembrance. _Kael_ , they realized. He had spent an entire month away from his son, and it probably would have been longer if they hadn't done something to save him from becoming worse. As Baylee ignored the fork and grabbed his piece of cake with his hand to shove in his mouth, Howie tapped Brian on the arm and motioned for them to step out into the hallway. AJ and Nick followed. 

"You okay, Brian?" Nick asked once they were out of earshot of the others. 

"Of course I'm okay," Brian replied. "In fact, don't I have a reason to be more than okay? It's Baylee's first birthday." 

"Come on bro, it's us. You don't have to deny something's wrong. Please, tell us what's going on." 

"Guys, really-" 

"Brian Thomas," Howie interrupted, "you tell us the truth." 

Brian moved to protest but stopped. There was no point. These were his friends, and they deserved to know. 

With a sigh, he said, "I had another nightmare last night." 

His trio of friends exchanged a look. He'd told them about his nightmares, but just like today, they had to push him to reveal the problem. 

"What happened this time?" AJ asked. 

"A bunch of memories," Brian revealed, "but I can't recall some of them right now. What sticks out most is... the day I was kidnapped." 

Nick’s eyes widened. "So you really were kidnapped?" 

“Yeah,” Brian admitted. He glanced back toward the dining room before speaking again. "It was about seven-thirty the morning after Zator had found us. I had woken up, but I wasn't sure why. At first, I thought it was my son, but after listening for a while, I realized that it wasn't. I made sure to tell Leighanne I loved her, then climbed out of bed and started down the stairs. I didn't see anyone at first, so I headed to the family room." He swallowed. "As I crossed into the room, someone forced my arms behind my back. Then I heard laughter... and I knew who it was. Zator had come early for me. He told me he had come to make sure I didn't chicken out at the last minute and try to run away. I must have been knocked out or something, because the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a strange room I didn't recognize. Things are fuzzy after that." 

The friends were silent as Brian finished. They had always assumed that it had been willing service, not a kidnapping. How much more was he keeping from them? 

“I’m sorry.” 

“There you are!” 

The boys turned to see Jackie Littrell coming their way. She paused when she saw her son. 

“Is everything all right?” 

“It is for now, mom,” Brian replied. 

Jackie nodded after a slight hesitation. “All right. Baylee’s asking for you.” 

Brian smiled and headed back to the dining room to be with his son. Just as he got there, he heard the doorbell. He glanced at his wife. 

“Who could that be?” 

Leighanne shrugged. “I don’t know. It might be the Davises; they said they’d be a little late.” 

“Maybe.” 

Brian took his seat beside Baylee and smiled as his son tried to hold out a small piece of cake, intending to give it to his daddy. Unfortunately, he only succeeded in dropping it on the floor. Baylee made an “uh-oh” sound, and then found new interest in the little Pooh, Piglet, and Tigger figurines that had been set on his plate.

Brian grabbed a paper towel and knelt down to clean up the mess. As he stood, he heard voices coming down the hallway. His mom was talking to someone, and it didn’t sound like the Davis family.

"Everyone's in here," Jackie said as she entered the dining room.

Brian looked up and saw Kristin appear in the doorway, a brightly wrapped gift in hand. She gave him a hesitant smile and moved into the room. Brian felt a sensation of relief when no one followed her. Not that he'd expected him to come; no one knew where he was... He turned to Baylee, who was reaching for Kristin's package with sticky, icing-coated fingers. Laughing, she gave the boy the box. Brian turned back with a grin on his face but froze the second his eyes registered the figure standing nearby.

In the doorway, unsmiling, was Kevin. The man he hadn't seen, hadn't been able to face, for months. For a split second, their eyes met, but Kevin's emerald gaze quickly darted away. He seemed to shrink back in the doorway, but Leighanne reached out and took his arm. Kevin allowed her to lead him further into the dining room, but he quickly settled in the background, content to observe rather than participate. Brian tried to judge his state of mind, but the fact that his cousin refused to meet his eyes said much more than words. Brian caught glances between Nick, Howie, and AJ. It was obvious that Kevin's appearance had taken them by surprise as well.

When had he gotten back? The last he had seen of Kevin was that day in the hospital when... He shook his head to clear it of the memory and turned his attention back to the party. The bruises were gone from the older man's face, of course, but Brian knew that his injuries had been more than physical. He felt a surge of shame and regret sweep through him. He wondered why Kevin didn't seem angry, however. Instead of the rage and hatred he expected, there seemed to be uncertainty and uncharacteristic shyness. He wanted to know but was unable to ask. He didn't have the slightest idea what to say to his once-close cousin.

He cringed inwardly as he realized how badly he'd broken the bond between them. Kristin caught his eye, but whatever she was trying to convey was lost in the translation. Brian remained in the dark. He watched as Howie brought a soda over to Kevin. They exchanged a few words, but it was so low Brian couldn't hear. He frowned as he saw Kevin's hand shake when he accepted the glass.

"Brian." 

He turned to see Kristin at his side. She spoke before he could. 

“Just try to meet him halfway," she said. "Just try." 

"Kris, he won't even look at me. Would he listen to anything I have to say?" 

"You might be surprised," Kristin replied. 

Brian glanced over at Kevin again, but he seemed focused on the party. A tiny flicker of hope lit inside him. Maybe he could... It was at least worth a try, wasn't it? Brian steeled himself and began walking in Kevin's direction. But before he had taken more than two steps Kevin's gaze stopped on him. He paused and then started again. But that pause had been a mistake; Kevin was moving away. His heart sank as he watched. Maybe Kristin was wrong, and Kevin didn't want to speak to him, let alone look at him. Surely Kevin was hiding his anger because of the party. Brian knew he truly did care for Baylee. 

Kevin disappeared through the doorway, and the moment of opportunity was lost. Brian sighed in defeat. He'd been too slow. _If only I hadn't stopped._ He turned back to his mother, who was gesturing for a picture of Daddy and the birthday boy. He smiled as he sat beside his son. Baylee reached for him, and he removed the boy from his high chair, sitting him in his lap. Baylee looked at his grandma and grinned. Brian followed his gaze and did the same. 

  
Nick watched, puzzled, as Kevin left the room. His oldest brother was acting like a stranger, and he needed to know why. Over the last eight months, he had been able to count their conversations on one hand, and not a single one had been meaningful. It was time that changed. Determined, Nick headed out the door after him. It didn't take long to find Kevin. He was seated on the front step, staring at the sidewalk. For a moment, Nick didn't know what to say. Then, shrugging, he simply sat down next to him.

“So what's going on?" the blond asked as if it were an ordinary exchange.

Kevin shrugged. "Nice party," he said.

"Sorry, try again."

Kevin turned in slight surprise, staring into azure eyes. "What?"

"I said, try again. You know I'm not talking about the party." 

Kevin scowled. "Leave me alone, Nicky." 

"First of all, my name's Nick, not Nicky. And second, you've been alone for eight months. That's long enough." 

"You don't know anything about it," Kevin shot back. 

"Yeah, because you've shut me, and everyone else, out!" 

"I have my reasons," he grated. "And I don't want to-" 

"Wrong," Nick interrupted. "It's way past time we talked about this." 

Kevin clenched his jaw and remained silent. 

"Kev," Nick said in a quieter voice, "listen. What we all went through... well, it's in the past now. We need to move on, together. And I don't mean getting together for an hour every week or so to go over business stuff. I mean we need to reconnect." 

He was surprised a moment later when, instead of arguing, Kevin simply slumped his shoulders and hung his head. 

"I can't. You don't understand." 

"Then tell me," Nick said. "We went through the same thing. What don't I understand?” 

"But it wasn't the same thing," Kevin said. "Not at all." 

"I nearly died!" Nick said. "If it hadn't been for Zanell, and Brian giving her back the healing amulet..." 

"I know." 

"Then how can you say I don't understand?" 

"You've only known Brian for ten years," Kevin said. "I've known him all his life." 

"But what does that have to do with-" 

"Brian's family," was Kevin's answer. 

"Well, so are we," Nick said. 

"It's different with us as a group, Nick. Brian and I are blood family. The five of us are like family because of our time together." He looked away. "At least, we _were_ family." 

"We still are." Nick placed a hand on Kevin's shoulder. "We just went through a big trial recently, and the rift isn't completely closed. We need to work together to mend it." 

Kevin didn't answer. Nick was surprised when he felt a slight trembling under his hand. 

"Kev, what..." 

"It's cold out here," came the too-quick reply. 

"Right," Nick said. "Let's go in and continue this where it's warmer." 

"I'd rather let it rest," Kevin said. 

"I'd rather not." 

Kevin blinked, surprised at the tone in Nick's voice. 

"Don't look so surprised, Kev," Nick said, seemingly reading his mind. "I've done a lot of growing up in the last eight months." 

Wish I could say the same, Kevin thought bitterly. 

"Come on, Kev." Nick stood. "Let's get back to the party." 

Kevin hesitated a few moments longer, and then reluctantly joined his younger friend. They crossed into the living room, where AJ was busy changing tapes in his video camera. He paused in what he was doing and regarded the pair. 

"Hey, guys. What's up?" 

"Just talking," Nick said. 

"Really?" AJ asked, looking hopefully at Kevin. 

Kevin avoided his glance and looked suddenly uncomfortable. AJ sighed and finished his work, then picked up the camera. 

"A videographer's work is never done," he said dramatically, making Nick grin and roll his eyes. 

Sensing the two needed to have a little solitude, he went back into the kitchen, where the action was still going strong. AJ was about to continue taping when he caught Brian's gaze. 

He stepped up to his friend. "Nick followed him. They're talking." 

"I don't think I should intrude, then," Brian answered. 

Might be better if you did. "Give them a little bit," AJ agreed. "But this is the first time we've all been together in a long time. I'm not about to let him sneak out the door." 

~~~***~~~

With most of the guests gone, Brian felt it was a good time to start cleaning up the mess left in the kitchen and dining room. His parents were outside with Kristin, Leighanne, and Baylee in the backyard. AJ and Howie had joined Nick and Kevin in the living room. They had been talking for the last half-hour, but Brian just hadn’t been able to join. He had made the attempt once, but a quick glance from Kevin sent him back to the dining room before he’d even crossed through the doorway. There was fear in his eyes; fear of what Brian might do to him. Or was it what _Kael_ might do?

The thought made him pause, an empty paper plate in his hand hovering over the trash bag. Was Kevin afraid of Kael coming back? It seemed ludicrous to be worried about it because Kael was gone. But then those few horrible days of eight months ago came back to his mind. He lowered into a chair. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense that Kevin would be afraid of Kael returning and causing more harm to them all. He had to make Kevin see that Kael was gone forever and there was nothing to worry about. But how could he when the man wouldn’t even speak to him? 

He sighed heavily and got to his feet. As he went back to cleaning up, he hoped that an opportunity would present itself so he could talk to Kevin. As he began taking apart the cardboard boxes that came from Baylee’s presents, he noticed that the trash bag was getting full. He stuffed as much of the wrapping paper into it as he could, most of it being non-salvageable thanks to Baylee’s attempts at opening his gifts. He tied the bag and set it against a wall, then headed to the kitchen for another one. 

Brian looked under the sink where the trash bags were normally kept but didn't find any. Looking around the kitchen, on the counters, on top of the fridge, proved unsuccessful. _Maybe I left them in the dining room_ , he thought. _Or maybe we're out._ He turned to head back to the dining room to look when he saw his cousin standing in the doorway and froze. Brian expected him to turn and leave, but Kevin didn't move. _Meet him halfway..._

Brian blinked, gathered his courage, and said, "Um, Kev... I think we need to talk. Would that be okay?" 

Something unreadable flickered in emerald eyes, and there was a long, heavy pause. 

"I suppose," came the quiet answer. 

Brian allowed himself a small smile. "Do... do you want to head to my study?" he offered. "Or we could stay here... or the dining room... or-" 

"The study's fine." 

Brian led the way, wondering how the two were going to break the ice. It had been a long time… He held the study door open for Kevin to go through when they reached it. As he stepped inside, he closed the door only slightly, leaving it open so neither of them would feel trapped. 

"You can sit if you like," he said, motioning to the chairs and loveseat in the room opposite the bookshelf. 

Brian could see the tension in his cousin's shoulders as Kevin chose a chair. Still, he had agreed to try and talk. It was something. He gave Kevin space and took the loveseat. There was silence for a minute or two as Brian tried to gather his thoughts. He saw Kevin glance at the door once and noticed a look of relief on his face when he saw that it wasn't completely closed. 

"First off," Brian began softly, "I guess... I wanted to know if you're okay." It was the same thing he had wondered eight months ago before Kevin left, but he hoped the answer would be different from the last time. 

Kevin considered the deceptively simple question. "I don't know how to answer that," he said truthfully. 

_I was afraid of that_ , Brian thought. "Did you... heal okay?" he asked. "Physically, I mean. I know you were hurting pretty badly after... after what happened..." 

"I got a clean bill of health," Kevin said, his voice flat and neutral. 

Brian looked away. 

The dark-haired man glanced down. "I'm sorry, this is hard." 

"I know," Brian murmured. "I'm sorry too. You don't want to hear that, I'm sure. But really, I am." 

"AJ was talking just a bit ago... he says it all started with a kidnapping. I... “ A pained look crossed his face as his words stopped. 

Brian looked away. "Yeah. AJ's right, that's how it started. I told Leighanne shortly after we got home. Maybe if you knew..." he risked a glance at his cousin and saw Kevin meet his gaze. Hoping it was a good sign, he took a deep breath. "AJ and the others only know about it because I admitted that I'd had a nightmare about that day. It was early in the morning, around seven-thirty. I had woken up for some reason, and at first, I thought it was Baylee." 

"He's growing up quick," Kevin remarked. 

Brian shuddered slightly. "A little too fast for my liking. Anyway, I realized after a while that it wasn't Baylee, but I just couldn't get back to sleep. I got up and dressed, making sure to tell Leighanne I loved her because that was the day I was going to be leaving her..." he paused and swallowed as Kevin looked away, but he continued. "I headed downstairs, but I didn't see anyone. Not at first, anyway. I headed for the family room to look around and just as I got through the doorway, someone forced my arms behind me. And then I heard laughter and realized that Zator had come early for me. He said he came to make sure I didn't chicken out and try to run away. After that..." he admitted, "things are fuzzy. I remember waking up in a room I didn't recognize, and… after that, I can't remember much other than the... the training." 

Brian looked up as he finished the story. "I think you can figure out the rest." 

Kevin's frown deepened, but Brian knew it wasn't from anger. Despite all that had transpired between them, he realized that Kevin was struggling to understand. 

"How did you become Kael?" he finally asked, his voice a pained whisper. 

"I... it's hard to explain," Brian offered. "Part of it was the training, but it seemed like the more time I spent in Zator's company, the less of the real me there was." 

"Did they brainwash you?" 

"No," Brian said slowly. "Not... that I'm aware of. Really, it just seemed like Zator pulled something out of me whenever I was around him. Soon I forgot all about my old life." He shook his head. "Although I can't see why now." 

Kevin stood, ran a hand through his hair, and began moving. For a second, Brian thought he was heading for the door, but Kevin surprised him once again as he stepped over to the nearest bookcase. Idly, Kevin's slightly shaking hands traveled across the spines of the books as he tried to come to grips with what he had just learned. His focus was miles, and months, away from the present. Brian waited, wondering what was going through his head. Finally, Kevin spoke, although he kept his gaze elsewhere. 

"Brainwashed would have helped me to... to accept things. But you just admitted you weren't brainwashed. How am I supposed to take that?" 

"I don't have all the answers," Brian said softly. "I've been struggling with this ever since I came back." 

Kevin turned. "And now? How much of Kael is left?" 

Brian met his gaze. "As soon as I came back home, things began changing. The old feelings, the things that created Kael... they've never returned. It's like he died." 

"But by your admittance, Kael was a part of you," Kevin said. "What happens if Zator returns?" 

"Then I'll fight him with everything I have," Brian declared. 

Kevin shook his head. "What if he does the same? What if he threatens Baylee or Leighanne... or Howie or AJ or Nick? Would you risk it?" 

"I'd rather die fighting than ever give in to the chance of betrayal again." Brian paused. "You didn't include yourself on that list, Kev." 

"I know." 

"I'd do the same for you," Brian said. "I won't risk betraying you again. It's not worth living with, believe me. Not a day goes by that I don't struggle with the guilt." He looked at his hands, toying with his wedding ring. "Kev, you have every right to hate me. I know forgiveness is out of the question." 

Kevin was silent for nearly a minute. Then, in a voice just above a whisper, he said, "Have you ever been in an earthquake?" 

"What?" 

"An earthquake." 

"No, not really. What does that have to do with-?" 

"That's what it was like," Kevin said hollowly. "The ground that had always seemed so solid and stable and strong suddenly went out of control. There was no balance, no safety, no sense or reason or defense." He grimaced. "That's what happened, Brian. The solid foundation I had always counted on was ripped away. And from that moment on, I haven't been able to trust anything." 

"Or anyone," Brian whispered. 

"Family... I had always counted on family above all else. More than music, more than fame or money or success. Family was the one constant I could count on. Brian, I have always known that your actions weren't from your heart. But that didn't lessen the sense of betrayal and pain the whole thing caused. Everything I assumed was solid and unshakable was ripped out from under me that day. I never thought that...” He stopped, emotions catching the words in his throat. 

"I can't change what happened," Brian said. "I would, but I can't. All I can do is move forward. And maybe try to build a bridge again, a trust between us." 

Kevin didn't answer. 

"Kev, please." 

"Things will never be the same," the older man said in a strained voice. "Not for me." 

Brian bit his lip. "Then there's no chance?" 

"Chance of what? Forgiveness? I know it was Kael that did those terrible things. The Brian I always knew never would. I will never forgive Kael." 

"But..." Brian prompted. 

"But if you aren't Kael, then... I...” He stopped. "Then there's not much to forgive." 

"I made the decision to leave and serve him," Brian murmured. 

"And why did you do it? Greed, hatred, malevolence?" 

"No," Brian answered. "I did it to protect Leighanne and Baylee." 

Kevin's voice softened. "Then you did it for love, from a desire to... to protect the ones you care for." Emerald eyes caught Brian's gaze. "That makes all the difference." 

"That will always be my motive for anything," Brian said with a small smile. 

"So... you might have made a major mistake in judgment, but you don't need forgiveness. Especially from me." 

The blond tilted his head slightly at the last comment. "Especially? What does that mean?" 

Kevin shook his head and said, "Nothing." 

When no more words were forthcoming, Brian let it rest. A lot had been covered, and he didn't want to push things. 

"I'm glad you came today," he said. "I didn't expect it, but I'm glad." 

"I love Baylee," Kevin said elusively. "I hated the thought of missing his first birthday." 

Once again, Brian declined to comment. According to Leighanne, Kevin had only returned home two months ago. Obviously, he'd had a lot on his mind; Brian finally had an inkling as to what was going on with his cousin. He considered their talk to be a victory, the first step towards healing their relationship. It was enough.


	2. Chapter 2

It was Howie that called a group meeting. The birthday party at Brian's had gone well, and he knew it was high time everyone reconnected. He invited everyone to dinner at his place, so the meeting would be informal. Hopefully, more like old times. Howie specified that it was just going to be the five of them... no wives, kids, girlfriends, just the group. AJ seemed to accept the invitation eagerly, as did Nick. Brian seemed hesitant... he confessed he was worried about leaving Leigh and Baylee alone. A quick phone call to one of their trusted bodyguards was all it took to reassure the man. Wayne, Brian's personal bodyguard on their last tour, was delighted to visit and watch over the pair. Howie expected Kevin to be reluctant; oddly, the oldest's reply was unemotionally neutral. He didn't seem excited, nor did he resist. It was so unlike Kevin that Howie wasn't sure what to make of it. Figuring that he had some issues to work out, Howie left the questions for later.

Brian was the first to arrive. Howie had just begun chopping the salad ingredients and instantly drafted Brian into helping. They talked as they worked. At first, the conversation was casual; eventually, the slight tension eased and the two began talking in earnest.

"So how are you, really?" Howie asked, his voice serious.

Brian sighed. "A little better now that Kev and I have talked some."

Howie raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

Brian nodded. "I feel… lighter now. A lot was weighing me down until I could get the chance to talk with him. I was worried he was going to leave or... I dunno. I'm hoping we can build a trust between us again. I know it's going to take a while, but I want to try."

Howie smiled, glad that Kevin had finally given his cousin a chance. “So what do you plan to do?"

Brian contemplated his answer. He’d thought about it several times over the past couple of weeks since the birthday party, but no solid way had come to mind.

“It’ll come, B. Just give it time."

“Yeah,” Brian muttered. “‘Just give it time.’ I know, I’ll try.”

The doorbell rang, and as Brian was the one with clean hands at the moment, Howie asked him to see who was at the door. Brian hesitated a few seconds before opening the door. AJ was standing in the doorway waiting to come in.

“Hey, B,” he greeted as he stepped through the door. “You got here first, huh?"

“Yeah. Howie drafted me to help him make the salad.

AJ chuckled. As Brian made to close the door, he saw Nick arriving. He gripped the door handle tighter when he spotted Kevin sitting in the passenger’s seat. He stayed where he was while AJ headed to the kitchen to help Howie. When the car stopped, Nick looked up and smiled when he saw Brian, then waved. He turned and tapped Kevin on the shoulder. As Kevin looked up from unbuckling, Brian saw Nick say something to Kevin and point to the house. Kevin turned his gaze to the front door and paused. Brian bit his lip and decided to give a wave in greeting. Kevin nodded and stepped out of the car.

Brian heaved a sigh of relief. Kevin had acknowledged him; that was a good sign.

“How you doin’, B?” Nick asked as he headed to the porch. He smiled at his friend as he climbed the steps.

Brian found that he could easily smile right back. “I’m all right, Frack.”

Nick nodded. “Good to hear. And how’s family life treating you?”

Brian felt his mouth explode into a grin. “It’s great, Nick,” he replied. “I love it. There’s so much that Leighanne and I are constantly learning while trying to raise Baylee, but it’s worth it, you know? Especially when we see him smile."

“You love being a dad, then?"

Kevin had reached the porch and it was he that had spoken.

Brian nodded. “It’s the greatest thing in the world, Kevin. I bet you can’t wait till you and Kris have a family of your own.”

The corners of Kevin’s mouth twitched as he stepped inside, but he shook his head. “We’re waiting until the time is right.”

Brian smirked. “Well don’t wait too long, Kev. It might suddenly pop up on you without knowing.”

“Right!” Nick said loudly. “I’m heading to the kitchen before I become permanently scarred.”

Brian was pleased to hear Kevin laugh as Nick left, even though it was soft. He met Kevin’s green eyes and spoke quietly. “I haven’t heard you laugh in a long time, Kev.”

Kevin studied him for a long, silent moment before he replied. “I haven’t had much reason to laugh lately.”

Brian looked away as he closed the door. Turning back, he saw that Kevin was standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Need any more help, D?” he asked.

“Nah,” Howie replied. “Nick, AJ, and I’ve got it under control.”

Brian saw Kevin’s shoulders tense slightly. Without a reply, Kevin headed through the dining room to the back of the house. Brian watched him head into Howie’s library with a sinking heart. How were they ever going to rebuild their relationship if Kevin kept distancing himself? Brian sighed heavily and headed to the kitchen. He hesitated momentarily in the doorway, and then headed to a cabinet for a glass, ignoring the others’ stares. Nick scooted aside at the sink to let him get some water.

“Where’d he go off to?” Nick asked.

“The library,” Brian replied before taking a large gulp of water.

Nick nodded and resumed peeling potatoes. AJ said nothing as he turned the oven on so Howie could start making the dessert. Howie met Brian’s gaze and offered an encouraging smile. Brian returned it with a small smile of his own and knew it was time to stop hesitating. He had to talk with his cousin more if things were going to change.

~~~***~~~

Kevin looked up when he heard the door open. He suppressed a sigh when he saw Brian enter the library. Knowing what Brian would undoubtedly want, Kevin turned back to the shelf of books he was facing and pulled one down. He wasn’t ready to talk to the man yet. True, he had been relieved to find that Kael wasn’t around anymore, but he just didn’t feel ready to talk. Scanning the first few lines, he realized that he’d just opened a mystery book, one he didn’t particularly like, but at least it kept him from making conversation.

After a few minutes he heard Brian’s voice. “I know that’s not a book you like, Kevin. Will you please look at me?”

He couldn’t hold back the sigh this time as he replaced the book back in its proper place on the shelf. He heard movement and turned to see Brian sinking into one of the armchairs by the wall, waiting for a response.

“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to talk,” Brian said.

“You’re talking,” Kevin pointed out.

Brian’s eyebrows lowered slightly in pained frustration, but Kevin didn’t care. “I meant to have a serious conversation with you,” he said.

Kevin crossed his arms and leaned up against the bookcase. He could see that Brian was waiting for him to speak. “What is it?”

Brian kept his gaze for a while, then asked, “Where’d you go, Kev? Leighanne told me you were gone for six months.”

“That’s what you wanted to talk about?”

“Well, didn’t Kristin want to know?” Brian pressed.

"What does Kris have to do with this?"

Brian frowned. "Because she cares. And so do I."

Kevin searched for words. At last, he said, "I'm not so sure of that anymore."

"What, that I care?" Brian asked, the hurt evident in his voice.

Kevin looked down at the carpet with a frown. "The mountains."

“What?"

"That's where I went. You asked."

Brian resisted a frustrated sigh. "Can we stop this dancing around the issue, please? I just want... no, I need... answers. Please."

"Do you think it's that simple?" Kevin said, sudden anger edging his voice. "Do you think we can ever just go back to the way things were? If you do, you're dreaming."

"Tell me what's been going on in your head, Kev."

Kevin's jaw clenched, and for a moment Brian was sure his cousin was going to explode. Then, in a softer voice that surprised him, Kevin spoke.

"I had to get away," he said. "To think, to... come to terms with what had happened. With what I... with the way things went down. I didn't have anyone else to turn to. I told Kris where I was going, and she was gracious enough to let me be." He took a breath. "Actually I didn't tell her the exact location, because I didn't know myself."

Kevin shook his head. "I thought the solitude would clear my head right away, but it didn't happen. By the time my... my injuries had healed, I found myself more confused than ever." Emerald eyes darkened a bit. "For the first time in my life, I felt utterly, totally alone."

Brian kept his silence, not wanting to interfere.

"I couldn't come back. Not then. But I needed to talk to someone." The taller man dropped his voice a bit more. "I met this person... who isn't important. But he made me realize that fear has control only as long as you allow it to. He made me look at what I feared. I didn't get answers... I'm still looking. But at least I recognized what had propelled me so far from home."

"And… that was Kael," Brian said roughly.

"No," Kevin replied, still looking down. "It wasn't."

Brian was surprised at the statement. A moment later Kevin continued.

"It was me. My failure. My inability to do... to do anything when it really mattered."

"What do you m-"

"It was the first time I really, truly, completely failed."

"Failed?" Brian asked, more confused than ever. “Kev-“

"All these years, I've been kidding myself," Kevin said bitterly. "I couldn't stop anything at all when it really counted. It was all a lie. Look at what happened to Nick, to AJ and Howie..."

"That wasn't your fault," Brian said shakily. "It was mine. But you tried to protect them, Kevin. That's what counts. A weaker man would have wanted to save his own skin."

"I couldn't even do that," Kevin spat. "And it doesn't matter that I tried. The bottom line is, I failed. Nick nearly died. AJ... I can still see his face. He... everyone... looked to me to help. And I did nothing." Kevin winced. "I couldn't even help my own cousin."

"Kevin, I-"

"Do you know what it's like to realize you aren't the man you thought you were? That when it really counted, you couldn't measure up? I thought I was a good judge of situations. I thought I could always protect everyone. I thought... I believed I could trust my own family." His voice dropped to a bare whisper. "I was so wrong." He raised his head. "You heard them just a few minutes ago. They don't need me. Obviously, if I can't help out when it really counts, why bother with the little stuff?"

Brian shook his head in shock. "Kevin, don't you remember the words in our song?"

"What song?" 

"The Perfect Fan," Brian replied. " _It's not the big things, but the little things that can mean enough._ Of course, they need you, Kevin.” His voice softened as he stood. “And you did help me. When Kael was interrogating and torturing you... you mentioned Leighanne and Baylee. By the time Zator had finished training me and had taken me into his service and Kael had surfaced... I had forgotten about them, the real reason I had done what I did. You brought them back to my mind... to Kael's mind... and helped me come back." 

"I should have stopped it from happening at all. You never should have been forced to go with Zator. If I-" 

"Stop it," Brian said. "Who do you think you are? You didn’t know, Kevin. You had no way of knowing what was happening. No one did. No one blames you in the least!" 

"I do," Kevin said after a long moment. 

"It's time we involved everyone in this discussion. I'm calling a group meeting right here, right now." 

Before Kevin could protest, Brian was out the door. He wasted no time and headed for the kitchen, a determined look on his face. He heard laughter just before he reached the door... AJ, it seemed, had told some kind of joke. He came into the room and waited until everyone glanced his way. 

"Guys, we need to have a group meeting. This one is important." 

"What's it about?" asked Nick. 

"Kevin's finally told me what went on." 

No more needed to be said. Without a word, Howie turned off the stove and the four left for the living room. Brian indicated that they should sit; he went back to the library, relieved to find Kevin still there. Although he hesitated for several heartbeats, Kevin finally followed Brian back out the door. Soon, he was face to face with everyone. Brian started to move to a seat, then noticed that Kevin hadn’t moved. He stayed still and waited until Kevin sat in the leather armchair he usually occupied whenever they gathered at Howie’s. Kevin didn’t look at him, or anyone, after he sat down. He looked at his hands, which Brian noticed were beginning to shake. 

“Kev, where’d you go for six months?” AJ blurted out. 

Kevin glanced at Brian, who nodded encouragingly. “I went to the mountains.” 

“The mountains?” 

Kevin pressed his lips together in irritation, then nodded. 

“Did Kristin know?” Nick asked. 

“I told her when I got back.” 

“She missed you something awful, Kev,” Nick continued. “We all did. We all volunteered several times to go look for you, but she didn’t want us to.” 

“She wanted you to have your space,” Howie added, “and all the time you needed. We respected and loved you both enough to listen to her.” 

Kevin finally looked up from his hands and stared at Howie. 

“I told you, Kev,” Brian said. “No one blames you for what happened.” 

AJ, Howie, and Nick looked over at Brian, then back to Kevin. 

“For what happened?” Nick repeated. 

“When Kael took all of you,” Brian explained. “And when Zator took me.” 

“Well, none of us knew about Zator taking you,” Nick said. “Sometimes, even I beat myself up over it. I kept having the inkling to call you, but I was always busy with something else and didn’t.” 

“Well, it’s over, Kael’s gone, and we’re all still trying to recover,” Brian said. “Even me.” 

“But why the mountains?” Howie asked. 

Kevin rubbed his hands together, then said, “I needed the solitude. I thought being there would help clear my head… but I was wrong.” 

“You?” AJ asked. “Admit you were wrong? That’s a rarity.” 

Howie smacked him. He shut up. 

“Go on, Kevin,” Howie said. 

Kevin glanced at the rug, and then met his friends’ eyes again. “When my injuries healed, I was still confused, much more than I had been before going there. I couldn’t come back yet, even though I’d been gone three months. I knew I needed to talk to someone, but… I didn’t know who to talk to. Then, I met this man… and for some reason, I felt obliged to tell him my problems. He showed me that my fears controlled me as long as I allowed them to. He made me look at my fears. When I returned to my cabin and really thought about it, I realized what had brought me there.” 

“What?” 

"It was me,” Kevin replied. “My failure.” 

“Failure?” Nick, Howie, and AJ asked together. 

Kevin nodded reluctantly. "It was the first time I completely failed like that. I couldn’t stop what Kael and Zator did to us all. Nick almost died, and Howie and AJ were injured. All I could do was sit in my cell and watch… Kael… come and take you away. I couldn’t do anything when you came back.” 

“You talked to us, though,” Howie said. “That helped me know you were still there, and that we were all in it together.” 

“But I couldn’t save you from—“ 

“Kev, we’re not supposed to have perfect lives,” Howie interrupted. “We’re supposed to have trials and pain. It's one way we can grow.” 

“And besides,” Brian added, “you did save them, Kev. You got them off Zator’s ship before anything else could happen, despite your own injuries. And like I told you, it was you mentioning Leighanne and Baylee that started to bring me back.” He turned to the others. “When Kevin was being interrogated… tortured… he mentioned my wife and son. By the time I’d completed the training, I’d completely forgotten the reason I’d come into Zator’s service, completely forgotten my family. But Kevin mentioned them, and from that point on, Kael started to disappear. And besides,” he turned back to Kevin, “he saved my life, too.” 

Kevin met his gaze but said nothing. 

“I would have died if it hadn’t been for that transfusion. Kevin, I owe you my life.” 

“I think we all do,” Howie remarked. “He got us off that ship. I certainly didn’t know how to fly Zanell’s ship.” 

Kevin shook his head. He heard the words, but to believe them... 

"Why is it so hard to believe none of us blame you, Kev?" Howie asked softly. 

"Because I've always... I mean, before, it's-” He stopped, running a hand through his hair. He avoided their puzzled gazes. 

"You've what?" Nick asked when he fell silent. 

"You wouldn’t understand," Kevin said quietly. 

"Kev," Brian began. "Spit it out." 

"When we first got together," he finally said, albeit reluctantly, "it just kind of naturally happened that I became responsible for everyone." 

"As the oldest, that made sense," Howie said. "And you could be tough when needed. It was hard back then." 

“But you see, that's the problem. I was so used to playing the role, I actually began buying into it." 

It was AJ who understood first. "But Kev, this whole thing with Zator wasn't like anything we'd gone through. You've done a great job with the group... even our personal problems... but you can't protect us from everything. Not when it comes to this kind of madness." 

"But I should have," he said. 

"Get real," AJ said in a sharp voice. "No one could have stopped what happened. Not even you." 

Howie nodded. "And like I said, you did what you could to stop things from being worse. We could have really... really died up there." 

Nick spoke up. "It could have been any of us Zator had chosen, even you. Have you thought about that?" 

From the blank look on Kevin's face, it was obvious he hadn't. 

Brian added quietly, "And he would have threatened you the same way he did me. Endanger Kristin's life... or any of the group, even me. And I honestly don't think anyone can resist the kind of brainwashing he does." He cleared his throat. "Believe me, being his servant is very hard to deal with. You might be regretting that you didn't do enough, but I have to deal with being the one who actually hurt you all." 

"But... you weren't able to do anything about that," Kevin said in a strained voice. 

"Neither were you," Brian answered. 

"We've got to put all this behind us," Howie urged. "I, for one, don't blame Brian for what he was forced to do. Nor do I blame Kevin for not preventing us from getting hurt. I'm happy that we're all alive, all together, and on the same side." 

"I agree," AJ said. "If we let this undermine our faith in each other, if we let doubts take control... well, Zator really did win." 

"And that idea, I don't like," added Nick. "We survived this together and got Brian back. That's plenty for me." 

"What about you, Kev?" Brian asked quietly. "Do you forgive me? Can we really move on, together?" 

Kevin looked at the faces of his friends, his family... his brothers. It took a moment, but he finally found his voice. 

"I do," he said. "That monster tried his best to tear us apart, but we're still together. I... I forgive you, Brian." 

A smile spread onto Brian's face like a sunrise. He had been waiting so long to hear that. And he realized that he'd been able to say the word 'forgive'. Maybe he’d be able to… but he set the thought aside for the moment as he saw Kevin smile back to him. As the five friends exchanged caring hugs, the air felt as though a heavy weight had finally been removed from their shoulders, fading into the past that they were putting behind them at last. 

~~~***~~~ 

Kristin entered the bedroom to see her husband still sound asleep with a smile on his face. He had returned from the get-together happier than she’d seen him in a long time. When she’d asked what had happened, Kevin had told her everything, including his open forgiveness of Brian. Kristin had been so overcome with joy that she’d hugged and kissed him until both were dizzy from lack of oxygen. 

Almost two months had gone by since then, but Kevin hadn’t wasted the time. He’d called Brian and the others at least once a week to talk and possibly arrange another get-together, but so far no date had been set. 

“Good morning.” 

Kevin’s call brought her back from her thoughts. He was watching her from the bed and grinning. She smiled back. 

“Did you sleep well, Kevin?” she asked as she sat beside him on the edge of the bed. 

“Better than I have in a long time,” Kevin replied. 

She smiled. “Good.” 

Kevin pushed up onto his elbow and wrapped his other arm around his wife. “I’ve been thinking.” 

Kristin gasped. “You have not!” 

He laughed. “Yes. I want to invite the others out here. And Brian can bring Leighanne and Baylee. The last time any of them were out here was last March, wasn’t it?” 

“Yeah, it was. I think it’s a great idea.” 

When Kevin called the others an hour later, they all thought it was a great idea, too. It was arranged to get together in one week. Kevin felt that the time wouldn’t go by fast enough. 

~~~***~~~ 

"Nick, if you keep eating, there'll be nothing left for the others!" 

"Back off, Kev, I'm a growing boy!" 

Kevin scoffed. "No kidding. You're almost two inches taller than I am! Maybe we need to stop feeding you so you can quit growing." 

Nick just laughed. "Hey, when's B coming?" 

"Soon, I hope," Kevin replied as he glanced at his watch. "They were going to get a cab from the airport. I offered to pick them up, but he and Leigh didn't want to trouble us." 

Kristin came into the room. "They called from the airport; they should be here any time now." She patted her husband’s arm. "Worrying won't make them get here any faster. Come and sit." 

Kevin sighed. "You're right, I shouldn't worry. I just can't help it sometimes." 

“You're good at it because you practice all the time," Nick said with a smirk. 

“I'm surprised I haven't gone gray early from what you and Brian put me through," Kevin chuckled. 

“That's my job," Nick replied. "But I sure don't have Brian beat-“ He stopped, suddenly realizing what he'd said. He gave Kevin a wary look. 

His oldest brother blinked, then offered a slight smile. "I think you're right, there." 

"Sorry, Kev," Nick mumbled. 

Kevin shook his head. "No, don't be. It's what happened, but it's in the past." 

"Is it really in the past?" Nick asked quietly. 

"It has to be," Kevin said. "I want us to be a true group again, to be brothers like before." 

"Me too." 

The older man sighed. "Not exactly easy, though, is it?" 

"Kind of hard to forget the hurt," Nick agreed. "All that pain and anger..." 

"The desire to get even," Kevin murmured. 

Nick frowned, looking into shielded green eyes. "To get even?" he repeated slowly. 

"I... yeah," he admitted. "The anger, for me, turned into this real need for revenge." 

Nick considered that. "Revenge on Brian?" 

"No," came the answer. "On Kael... and Zator, for doing what he did to Brian. I almost couldn't handle it." 

"What did you do?" 

"Kicked a few trees, nearly broke my foot... chopped a winter's worth of wood. Did a lot of thinking. Almost came back twice, but something held me back. And it's a good thing, too... I wasn't seeing things clearly." 

"Wow... So it's actually good that you stayed away for six months, then." 

"Yeah," Kevin said. "I knew if I came back before I had figured things out, I'd do something terrible. I didn't... I didn't want to become something like Kael." 

Nick kept his silence. 

"I never told anyone about that," Kevin said in a low voice. "Not even Kristin." He swallowed. "But I was truly afraid of what I would be capable of doing. And that terrified me." 

Nick regarded his companion. He'd never heard Kevin admit to being scared, much less terrified. The fact that he'd shared such information touched the younger man deeply. 

"But you did come back," he said. "And you forgave Brian." 

"Yeah, I did. But it wasn't easy, not by a long shot." 

"I never knew it was that way," Nick finally said. "I'm glad you figured it out. I'm glad you came back." 

"Me too." On impulse, Kevin reached out and tousled Nick's blond locks. With a laugh, Nick ducked away. 

Just then, the doorbell rang. Kevin froze and looked toward the living room. 

"I'll get it!" Kristin called. 

"It's got to be them." 

"Cool," Nick said, not hesitating as he moved towards the other room. Kevin paused for a moment, then followed. 

It was little Baylee that broke the ice. The boy scrambled through the door almost the instant Kristin opened it, squealing excitedly at the sight of Uncle Nick's open arms. His parents' laughter just urged him on until he reached his Uncle Nick, who promptly picked him up and blew a raspberry on his cheek. 

"I'll say this," Brian chuckled, "he certainly knows Uncle Nick." 

"Didn't even pause to say hi to Cousin Kristin." 

"Well, no offense Kris, but you're not a big kid like Nick is. The man just doesn't want to grow up." 

"Growing up is overrated," Nick said, swinging Baylee around. "Don't do it, kid, not ever!" 

Brian nodded. "Yes, please don't!" 

"What's the matter, B?" Kevin asked. "Baylee growing too fast for you?" 

"Well, every day that goes by, he seems to find more energy and more things to get into," Leigh said. "I remember when he was a nice, quiet baby who only woke two or three times a night," she added with a sigh. 

"Well, I'm glad you do, 'cause I sure don't." 

As the adults began to laugh, Kevin noticed that Baylee was reaching for him from Nick's arms. 

"Hey, little bud," he said, taking the child from his uncle. "You want to see me now?" 

"Keh, Keh!" 

Kevin grinned; Baylee was trying to say his name. He glanced up and caught Brian smiling at him. 

"Are you sure you want to wait to have kids, Kevin?" 

"Aw, he just wants to practice on Baylee before he tries it on his kids," Nick remarked. 

Kevin ignored Nick completely, tickling Baylee so the boy giggled. He lifted the child onto his shoulders, and Brian watched with amusement as Baylee almost touched the ceiling with outstretched hands. 

A long blast of a car horn sounded outside. 

Brian rolled his eyes. "AJ must be here." 

Smiling, Kristin opened the door and confirmed that it was AJ indeed. "He also brought Howie with him." 

"Who's driving?" Nick asked. 

"Howie." 

"Oh, thank heaven!" He placed a hand over his heart in mock relief. "I thought I was going to have a heart attack if AJ had actually gotten Howie to ride with him in his car." 

AJ reached the door first, giving both Leighanne and Kristin nods in greeting. "Hey Nick, you leave any food for the rest of us? I'm starving." 

Kevin snickered. "Come on in Aje, there's plenty left." 

AJ paused and looked up... way up. "Baylee you grew! You can touch the ceiling now!" 

Baylee laughed and waved to Uncle AJ. Howie came in and greeted the group; soon, everyone was filling their plates and beginning to relax. Conversation was a bit forced at first, but soon the five men were caught up in discussions of planned projects. Kristin and Leighanne, knowing better than to interrupt the flow, escorted Baylee to the playroom, where they could watch him while they caught up on each other's news. 

"So we want to work on a couple of new songs, stuff that we create together, right?" Howie asked. 

"I think that's the way to restart things, yes," Kevin answered. "Management suggests we do some benefits, some charity stuff to kind of get back into it. Give us a chance to polish up the old stuff and maybe try out some of the new." 

"It's been a long time," AJ commented, his tone even. 

"Too long," Nick added. "I say it's overdue. Agreed?" 

Looks were exchanged. "Agreed," said Howie. His affirmation was echoed by AJ. 

"I'm ready," Brian said carefully. All eyes went to Kevin. 

The oldest nodded, then said, "Let's do it." 

It was as if a great weight had been lifted from their collective shoulders. True smiles appeared all around. The excitement grew as they discussed what old songs might be the best to restart with; finally, enough were selected to occupy an hour's worth of entertainment. 

"Okay, we got the songs, now... the location," AJ said. 

"Well, management gave me a list," Kevin said, pulling a paper out of his pocket. "It's totally our choice. I say we pick one, then see how it goes from there." 

"Okay, shoot," Nick said. 

"First is a library fundraiser in Tucson, Arizona." 

AJ yawned dramatically. 

"Second," Kevin said, ignoring him, "is for a groundbreaking for a new hospital. That's in Chicago." 

Nick rolled his eyes and scrunched up his nose. 

"Okay, third," Kevin said. "There's a college in Peoria, Illinois that wants to raise funds for a new sports stadium." 

"Sports?" Howie said, frowning. "Not that I have anything against sports, but..." 

"Right," Kevin said, continuing on. "Awareness concert to stop an area of marshland from becoming a garbage landfill in Maryland." 

"Worthy," Brian said, "but... marshes and garbage?" 

"Okay, okay. I suppose the 'Save the Black-headed Warbler' campaign is out..." 

"Yes," came a chorus of four voices. 

"How about this one... a town needs a lot of rebuilding after some kind of disaster. Lots of structures destroyed, including part of a school." 

"Maybe..." AJ said, leaning forward. "Sounds like they need all the help they can get." 

"What happened, was it a flood or a quake or something?" asked Nick. 

"Doesn't say here," Kevin said, scanning the list. "But the town is in Nevada. Ah... Riverview, Nevada." 

Four heads snapped around when they heard Brian choke on his drink and start coughing. 

" _Where_?" he finally gasped 

"Riverview, Nevada," Kevin repeated. “You’ve heard of it?" 

"You haven't?" 

Kevin, Howie, AJ, and Nick exchanged a confused look. 

"No." Nick said. "Should we have?" 

Brian sat back and wiped the water from his lips. His gaze moved away and then back. "I guess you didn't have time... That's... that's the town Kael attacked... last March." 

Kevin's eyes widened. "What?" he rasped. 

Brian nodded, having lost the ability of speech for the moment. The hand that held his cup was shaking. He set the cup down and sat back again. _Riverview…_

"Well..." AJ murmured, "that would certainly qualify as a disaster." 

No one laughed. 

Kevin cleared his throat. "We can pick something else," he said uncomfortably. "What about-" 

"No," Brian said quietly. "No. I think we should do it." 

Howie spoke up. "Brian, do you think you can?" 

Brian didn't speak for a long moment. "I have to," he finally said. "If I'm ever going to get past it all, I need to make some true amends. I can't think of a better way than this." 

"There are other ways," Howie continued. "We could contribute anonymously, or-" 

"No," Brian interrupted sharper than he'd intended. "This is the only way." 

"Can you face them, though?" Kevin interjected. "Everywhere you look will be evidence of what... what Kael caused." 

Brian stared at his lap. "I have to try." 

"We don't have to make a decision tonight," Kevin said. "Think about it... hard. Make sure this is something you truly want to do." 

Just then, a squeal was heard from the hallway, followed by a female voice. 

“Baylee Thomas, come back here!" Leighanne called. 

The toddler, screeching in delight at his 'escape', came wobbling into the living room, a broad smile on his chubby face. 

"Da! Da!!" 

He stumbled once but practically bounced back up. In a moment, he was waving his arms at his father. With a grin, Brian picked him up and hefted him into the air, which brought on a bout of giggles. Lowering the baby, he hugged him close. As Baylee squirmed to be free again, Brian kissed him on the cheek. He set Baylee down and off the toddler went. Brian watched him for a moment and then spoke. 

"That's why I have to do this. Not just for me." 

Kevin nodded, understanding. "Then it's up to you. Call management tomorrow and tell them the decision." 

"Yeah, I'll do that."


	3. Chapter 3

Kevin gaped at the passing landscape. The damage was so bad, it was sickening. He knew it had been months since the initial destruction had occurred. He wondered how much had already been cleaned up. It was a sobering thought. He wondered how Brian was taking this and turned to check on him. The two of them were sharing a cab while the other three followed.

Brian's face was grim. Kevin wanted to say something, anything... but he couldn't think of any words that would help. Instead, he reached over and put a hand on his cousin's shoulder. He hoped the gentle squeeze was enough. Although Brian didn't speak, the severe expression on his face eased a bit, and Kevin was satisfied. It would have to do, for now. The ride was finished in silence, each man lost in his thoughts. They arrived at the meeting place and joined the others. Kevin saw them glance at Brian, who nodded. He'd manage. Smiles were exchanged, and the five of them headed inside to meet with the council representatives. 

It was an awkward meeting at first. Knowing who and what caused the original damage made the Boys uncomfortable. But when it was obvious the council members didn't recognize Brian as Kael, they relaxed a bit. Then, the enthusiasm of the council members erased any further hesitations; they were grateful for any and all help to get their town up and running again. As the meeting drew to a close, the boys' spirits were higher. Maybe things would work out just fine, and there wouldn't be anything to worry about. For the first time, they felt positive about the project. 

~~~***~~~ 

"I'm hungry!" 

"Nick you're always hungry." 

"So? I need my nourishment and I never touched that plane food. Always bothered my stomach. Let's find some McDonald's!" 

"How can McDonald's food not upset your stomach?" Kevin asked. 

"Because he's been eating it nonstop since he was 12, that's how," Brian explained. "But I think we'll have to go to the next town for that. Although I did see a couple Mexican restaurants here." 

Nick made a face. "Blech!" 

"Come on, Nick, Nevada is known for its great Mexican food. Live a little," Howie insisted. 

"Oh.... fine. But the first chance I get, I'm hittin' McDonald's!" 

After getting a recommendation from the desk clerk, the Boys called a cab and went outside to wait. Brian took the opportunity to reacquaint himself with that part of town. He vaguely recognized most of the single-family homes on that street. He noticed several kids playing kickball in the street. A little girl with curly black hair was up. He squinted to get a better look. She looked familiar. 

_He heard a child’s screaming coming closer. Turning, he found Damoth approaching him with a little girl under his arm. She was kicking and screaming, trying to get away, her black curls falling into her eyes._

_“I caught her trying to escape Commander Kael,” Damoth announced. “Where should I put her?”_

_“Mommy! Daddy!” The girl screeched, looking wildly around. She spotted someone and repeated her cries. “Mommy! Daddy!”_

_He winced. “For goodness’ sake, Damoth. Make sure she’s tied up first, and then put her with her parents, over there. I’m sure that’s them.”_

The little girl rounded second base as the memory faded. Could she be the same little girl? 

"Hey, Kev?" 

"Yeah?" 

"What's the date?" 

Kevin checked his watch. "March eleventh." 

Brian swallowed hard. "Oh man," he murmured. 

"Something wrong?" Kevin asked. 

"It's been exactly one year to the day," Brian said. "One year to the day since... since the attack." 

The Boys exchanged silent glances at Brian's sudden announcement. One whole year... and there was still so much to be done. Brian pulled the brim of his hat lower, covering his eyes. 

"Well," Howie began, "that's all in the past now. Healing, and helping others to heal and rebuild their lives, that's what we should be focusing on." 

The Boys nodded in agreement. _But how many don't want healing?_ Brian wondered. _How many just want vengeance?_

~~~***~~~ 

The restaurant proved to be well worth the recommendation, and the group was able to relax and enjoy the meal. The earlier tension vanished by degrees, and by the time they paid the bill, everyone was in good spirits. Realizing they were only two blocks from the hotel, they decided to walk. Halfway there, Brian spoke. 

“Guys, I’d like to go off on my own for a while. Just look around, you know?” 

“Do you want some company?” Kevin asked. 

“No, I’ll be okay.” 

“B, I don’t want you to be alone.” 

“I’ll be okay,” Brian insisted. “I just… There are some things I need to do by myself.” 

"I'd feel better if someone went with you." 

"Look, I-" 

"I promised Leighanne," Kevin said quietly. 

Although Brian didn't like it, he stopped protesting. 

"All right, then." He paused, chose a direction, and began walking down the sidewalk. He didn't need to look back to see his cousin following a short distance behind. 

After several silent minutes, Kevin spoke. "Any particular destination?" 

“No.” 

Kevin fell silent. Knowing that Brian wasn't going to talk, he simply kept a watchful eye on the surroundings. Despite a few damaged buildings, the town was quite appealing. They'd done a lot of reconstruction over the last year. 

They turned a corner onto Summer Lane. Turning from the street sign, Kevin had to stop to avoid crashing into Brian. Brian had paused without warning and was staring down the street. 

"B?" His face had gone white, his eyes wide. Kevin followed his gaze and discovered with a shock a half-burned school building. An elementary school from the looks of it. 

_That school_ , Brian wondered. _Did I order that or was it an accidental fire?_ He was hoping for the latter, but the memories came back with alarming clarity. He had indeed ordered the destruction of that school building. 

"I did it," he murmured. 

"What's that?" 

"I gave the order for that school to be burned... How could I?" 

"But that's just the point," Kevin said softly. "You didn't. Kael did, and you're here to help repair the damage he did." 

"Kael and I-" 

"Are not the same," Kevin interrupted. "Kael is dead. You are here to help." 

Silence fell heavily between the two men. 

"Can you say it?" Kevin asked after a while. 

"Say what?" 

"Can you say that Kael is dead and make us both believe it?" 

“I…” Brian looked at the school, then back at his cousin. "Kael... Kael is dead." 

It didn't sound convincing, and Kevin frowned. "Why do you keep doing this, Brian? You're not having... destructive feelings, are you?" 

"No," Brian said quickly. "I look at this, and it sickens me. It's just that..." 

"Just that what?" 

"Kev, what if... what if Zator comes back again, and..." 

"And?" 

"He turned me into Kael once. What if he does it again?" 

"He won't," Kevin said flatly. "Because this time, you won't be alone." 

Brian shook his head. "Kev, I'm just remembering it now, but the first few days I was with him, there was always this pulling feeling within me. And every day that passed I remembered less and less of my old life. What if it happens again when I go near him?" 

"You'll be prepared for it, this time. You know how it felt. He can't catch you unawares." 

"But what if-" 

Kevin interrupted with a curt gesture. "Bri, stop. You could spend your entire life asking 'what if'. Don't dwell on the past. Remember the saying, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Learn from what happened. Don't let it rule your life forever." 

Brian opened his mouth to give another fear but stopped. Instead, he asked, "How am I stronger than before, Kev?" 

“Because you survived." 

"How do I know Kael didn't survive?" 

"That's enough!" Kevin interrupted forcefully. "You'll go gray early with all these worries. Let it go. Now, come on. Let's get back to the hotel." 

Brian sighed and looked at his feet. "Yeah. Yeah, we should go." 

The pair crossed the street and headed back towards the hotel. While they waited for the light to change at a crosswalk, Brian heard something that caught his attention. Agitated, hushed voices... nearby, and getting closer. He felt a surge of dread deep in his stomach. He knew, without a doubt, that he'd been recognized. Or, rather, Kael the monster had. 

He tensed, unsure of what to do. Opening his mouth to alert Kevin, any words he would have spoken were instantly drowned out by an excited cry. Brian heard running feet moving fast. He braced himself, not knowing how to react. 

"You! It's you!" a young woman's voice rang out. 

"I can't believe it!" said a second stranger. 

Brian tensed. Suddenly, Kevin's hand was on his arm. He shot a glance at his cousin, who was... smiling. 

"Hello, ladies," Kevin said quietly, facing the now-stopped pair. 

"Oh my gosh," said the first. "It's you, it's really you!" 

"It's us," he said, his Kentucky accent coming through. "Really." 

"Wow, I can't believe it," said her companion. "What are you doing here, right in the middle of town?" 

"We're here to do a benefit concert," Kevin answered as if it really were that simple. 

Brian tried to calm his still-racing pulse. Thank heaven it was fans and not someone that wanted to kill him. "Uh, yeah," he said in a somewhat shocked voice. "A benefit." 

"Cool!" the first girl gushed. "Can I... we... get your autographs?" 

She produced a small piece of paper and frantically searched for a pen in the depths of her purse. Brian glanced at Kevin and grinned in relief. 

"Sure," Kevin said. "I hope you can come to the concert." 

"We'll be there," the second girl promised. "This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to us!" 

Brian hid a wince at the girl's statement. He knew she meant the most exciting _good_ thing. He and Kevin quickly gave the requested autographs and thanked the girls for their support. Once they were alone again, they continued on their way to the hotel. 

"I've never been happier to see fans rushing up to greet us," Kevin remarked. 

"Me neither," Brian admitted. "I thought for sure they recognized me for Kael.” 

"You know," Kevin said as they turned the final corner, "that's something to think about. If our own fans don't equate you with Kael... and who knows us better than our fans?... then what are the odds that anyone else will? And besides, you don't dress like Kael does. I doubt they would have put the two of you together." 

"What about the ones that only know me as Kael?" 

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Don't start that again, Brian. You're going to have to face everyone the night of the concert. But judging from what just happened, I'm optimistic. I'm sure you'll be just one of five Backstreet Boys." Kevin gave a small grin. "Of course, it won't be the tall, handsome one... or the cute youngest one, or the charming Latino, or the rebellious heartbreaker, it'll just be plain old you..." 

"I'll take plain old Brian any day," came the truthful reply. "Any day at all." 

~~~***~~~ 

Nick smiled as he signed his name on the CD he'd been handed. He and the others and been there for about an hour now and he had been blown away by the size of the crowd that had gathered. Even in a small town like this, there were still loads of fans and not just the youth either. He had held back a chuckle when he'd seen a woman that was most likely a grandmother hand a picture to Kevin for him to autograph. She’d said something that made him laugh as he signed the picture. He'd ask Kevin later about what she said to him. 

AJ smiled; it was great to be back in the swing of things again. Although the pressures of being famous could sometimes get to him, he loved to see the excitement on the fans' faces. Signing autographs seemed such a small thing, but he got a rush from it. Seeing fans face to face, hearing the enthusiasm in their voices, made it all worthwhile. He glanced over at Kevin's laugh, wondering what had amused the eldest so much. He looked again, lowering his shades... yes; it _was_ a blush on his face! He wondered what in the world the older lady had said to Kevin to produce such a reaction. He couldn't wait to interrogate him later. 

Howie accepted a paper from a girl who couldn't be more than eight. He listened attentively as she explained that she had drawn the picture all by herself, with no help at all. He thanked her, giving her a broad smile. He looked at the drawing... he wasn't sure, exactly, what it was, but he told her it was beautiful. She beamed; when he gave her a wink, she broke into a giggle. Her mother, standing behind her, mouthed a 'thank you' over her head. Howie signed a poster and handed it to the girl, who accepted it as if it were the greatest treasure in the world. He sighed. Without a doubt, he had one of the greatest jobs in the world. 

Kevin felt his ears burning; it had been a long time since he'd been made to blush. A quick glance at AJ and Nick told him they'd noticed. He knew he wouldn't get a moment's peace until he explained the entire thing. Still, it was flattering, no matter how much teasing was in his immediate future. Fans never ceased to surprise him. Just when he thought he'd heard and seen it all, something unexpected happened. It was a part of his job he wouldn't trade for anything. 

Brian grinned at the picture little Rebekah gave to him. After a second or two, he was able to see a few of the things that she had drawn. 

“This is really pretty, Rebekah. Did you do it all by yourself?" 

Rebekah nodded while biting her lip. "I drawed it." 

"Rebekah, do you want to sing for Brian?" the mother asked. 

"Oh she wanted to sing?" 

"She's been working on it day and night since she heard you were coming." 

Rebekah grinned and started to sing. "Show me the meaning of beef baloney!" 

Brian blinked and tried desperately not to laugh. From the corner of his eye, he saw Howie pause and look her way. He grinned when he heard what she was singing. But both boys had to chuckle when she reached the end of the song. 

"There's something kissing in my haaaat!" 

AJ wasn't able to hold back a snicker; Brian had a hard time keeping control himself. "Oh," he managed to say, "that was... wonderful! I can tell you worked hard on that. I never heard that song quite that way before." 

"You liked it?" she asked hopefully. 

"You made it a very special song," Brian replied truthfully. "It's not often we get sung to like that." 

The girl took that as a high compliment and clapped her hands together. She told them all good-bye and took her mother's hand, eager to go home and tell her brother all about it. 

As soon as she was out of sight, Brian turned to his companions. "You've got to admit it was cute," he laughed. 

"Adorable," Howie agreed. 

~~~***~~~ 

"Come on, Kevin," Nick persisted. "What'd that woman say to you?" 

"You never blush like that," AJ agreed. "What's the deal?" 

Kevin could already feel his cheeks getting warm again as he looked through the sheet music. "Nothing you need to know about." 

"Oh come on! You know we're gonna harp on you till you tell. 'Fess up." 

"Well, Marge-" 

"Marge?" AJ exclaimed. 

"The, ah, older lady that came..." 

"Whoa, first name basis," Nick teased. 

"Okay, forget it," Kevin said. 

"Come on," Howie said. "Just get it over with." 

The oldest sighed. "All right. Marge, well, she's a fan, see… actually, her granddaughter got her into our music. She used to teach piano and was… well, she liked the fact that I play. She saw it on one of the videos." 

"That's what made you blush?" AJ looked at him incredulously. 

"No," Kevin admitted. "It was after she said all that. I signed this CD, and she just kind of stared for a second. She got this really... um... sort of spark in her eye and said that if she were forty years younger, I'd be in… in trouble." 

The four broke into gales of laughter. Kevin's blush returned, along with a glare. The warning was ignored, however. 

"Did... did you tell her that you were a m-married man?" Nick managed to say. 

"Kristin will be so jealous," AJ said with a snort. 

“Why do I tell you losers anything?" Kevin groaned. 

"Because you're so easy to pick on," Brian said. 

"Don't you all have some shopping to do?" Kevin demanded as he grabbed the sheet music he was searching for. 

The other boys scattered throughout the store, still chuckling at Kevin's predicament. Brian headed over to the gospel section, hoping to find something to play for Baylee when he got home. He was busy going through the selection when he sensed someone approach. 

"Hey," said a deep male voice. 

Brian turned, putting on his best 'fan' smile. But when he saw the man in question, the smile faded. There was a distinct glare coming from cold gray eyes; this was no fan. 

Brian blinked and took an unconscious step back. "Can… I help you?" 

"I think you did enough a year ago," the man practically spat. "How can you have the gall to show your face here again?" 

"I... I don't-" 

The man stepped forward, his fist clenched. "You're the monster that nearly destroyed the town. You might have those little girls fooled, but I know what you are." 

"Wait a minute, I-“ 

"I saw you myself, that night. Right before you destroyed my garage and ruined everything.” He gripped Brian’s shirt collar. “Now it's payback time." 

One of the store clerks intervened in the nick of time. "Steve!" the woman cried. "What are you doing? Are you crazy?" 

"Stay out of this, Beth. This is between me and him." 

"This is Brian Littrell, one of the Backstreet Boys! He's famous!" 

"He's the monster who attacked this town," Steve snarled. "I saw him myself!" 

"You're mistaken," Beth insisted. "He's here for the benefit. Don't do something stupid." 

Steve released Brian and turned his fury to the clerk. "How can you not see it? It was him!" 

Beth clenched her jaw. "The day of the attack, everything was insane. And if I remember correctly, weren't you trying to dry out around then? You're imagining things." 

"I didn't imagine his face," Steve said. "I saw it as clear as day. So what if I was drinking a bit then? It didn't affect my memory." 

"I suggest you leave before I call the cops," she said, standing her full 5' 4". "Apologize to Mr. Littrell and get out of here." 

"I'm not apologizing to that monster," he said angrily. "Never. And it's not over yet." He gave Brian a hate-filled glare and strode out the door. 

Beth, looking distraught, turned to Brian. "I'm so sorry... I know Steve said some terrible things; he's been through a tough time lately. He's been out of work, and… well, that's beside the point. There's no excuse for what just happened. I'm really sorry." 

_So am I_ , Brian thought guiltily. 

"Everything all right?" came a welcomingly familiar voice. 

"Y-yeah, Kev, it's good," Brian answered. 

"Do you want me to call the police? It won't be the first harassment charge Steve’s been given." 

"Ah, no, it's okay," Brian said, trying to steady his words. 

"Harassment?" Kevin repeated. "What happened?" 

"Well, Steve's kind of a local troublemaker; he came in and started bothering Mr. Littrell for no reason." 

Kevin shot Brian a glance. When Brian shook his head ever so slightly, Kevin got the message. 

"No, we won't press charges," he said. "We'll just finish shopping and get on back to the hotel." 

"Thanks for being so understanding," Beth said. "He really shouldn't give you any more trouble." 

_Why do I doubt that?_ Brian wondered as he watched her walk away. 

It didn't take long for the five to finish their business; by the time the hotel van arrived to pick them up, they were ready to go. Brian immediately hopped in the back and tried to make himself as invisible as possible, although he knew it wouldn't last long. The ride was made in silence; Kevin desperately wanted to hear the whole story of the incident but didn't dare speak until they found some privacy. 

The instant the elevator doors closed on the group back at the hotel, he spoke. 

"What happened, Brian?" 

"He recognized me as Kael, what do you think happened?" Brian spat. “I knew this would happen, Kevin, it was only a matter of time!" 

"Calm down," Kevin said. "So what does this mean?" 

"What do you mean, wh-?" 

"Are we going to cancel it all? Someone has recognized you. Now you have to make a decision." 

"I..." Brian paused, knowing that so much was riding on his answer. Here was the very issue he'd feared the most. Here was where he needed to make a stand, one way or another. 

His brothers waited in silence. Knowing they would support him either way, he carefully considered his answer. 

"I don't want any more trouble on my behalf," he began, "but I need to face up to what I... to what Kael did, and help make it better. It won't be easy, but I'll try." 

Howie smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. "We'll be behind you all the way, Brian." 

The others echoed his statement. Brian looked at each of his brothers and saw the sincerity in their eyes. Although his worry didn't vanish, he did feel better about it all. He could do this; he had to. And he wouldn't be alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Kevin exited the bathroom rubbing his eyes. Trips to the bathroom at four-thirty in the morning are not the best, especially when one needs to be up in a few hours anyway. Passing the main room he was shocked to see it radiating bright light. He entered in silence and paused upon seeing the figure on the couch. He had his arms crossed with his knees curled up to his chest. He trembled, blue eyes downcast.

"Brian?” 

Brian jumped and looked up. He sighed, a small smile on his face. “Hey.” 

“Hey there,” Kevin greeted as he moved closer. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Liar.” 

Brian stiffened and turned away. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Brian shrugged. “It’s okay.” 

“Tell me the truth,” Kevin requested after a moment, squatting down beside him. “Are you okay?” 

He waited for the younger man’s answer, but Brian continued to stare at the rug in silence. 

“Did I do the right thing?” he finally asked. 

“What?” 

“Coming here. Agreeing to this project. When that guy came up to me in the store… I thought I was gonna get torn to pieces. And then last night another guy just glared at me all through rehearsal. I could barely concentrate.” 

“They hate a person that’s no longer there, don’t they?” 

“They hate him because he was a monster that destroyed their lives,” Brian retorted. “But he was a monster because I was trained that way.” 

“Brian—“ 

Their eyes met. “Kevin, I was in training long before I ever became Kael. Don’t try to correct me this time, because it’s true. He wanted me to train along with the rest of his soldiers,” his gaze moved away, “and because I was under the delusion that I was protecting my family by serving him, I went along with it.” 

Kevin’s eyes widened. “Brian, don’t say that! You _were_ trying to protect your family. Granted, it wasn’t the best method--“ 

Brian set his gaze to Kevin’s. “If I had actually given him the amulets like I was ordered to do, I wouldn’t have had a family or even friends to protect. Zator would have destroyed Earth the first moment he had, and I probably would have assisted him had it not been for you and the others.” 

Silence fell as Brian finished with a frustrated sigh. Kevin stared at him, aghast. 

“You were in his service that deep?” 

Brian closed his eyes and nodded. Kevin sat beside him in shocked silence, shaking his head. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. 

“Wasn’t your fault,” Brian murmured. 

“What… what was the training like? What were you put through?” 

Brian cringed as the memory invaded his mind of the nightmare that sent him to the living room turning all lights on. “At first it was awful, but the longer I stayed and trained, the easier it was to bear. But the first couple of weeks… Every other day was a failure. To be honest, I… I just had a nightmare about one session.” 

Kevin looked up in interest. “You want to tell me about it?” 

“Not really.” 

“It might help,” Kevin said carefully. 

Brian sighed. “Well…” 

~~~***~~~ 

_The lights rose to reveal the ceiling of the large training room he’d been using for the past hour. His head throbbed where it had hit the floor when he’d fallen flat on his back. He had missed when he should have dodged and attacked his “enemy”. He took care as he rolled over on his side, groaning when he got up on his elbow. His heart beat faster as he heard the familiar hiss of the training room door slide open. Raising his gaze, Brian recognized his new master’s black and red boots as he stood in the doorway, his shadow reaching deep into the room. His eyes continued up to see Zator’s grim face watching him, his dark eyes darker with annoyance._

_Brian gulped and climbed to his feet as Zator entered the room. He tried to meet the Emperor’s eyes but looked away after a second._

_“I’m disappointed, human,” Zator declared. “This hasn’t been your first failure in training.”_

_“I-I know sir,” Brian replied as he tried to meet Zator’s eyes. “It’s just difficult. I’m trying as hard as I can.”_

_Zator’s eyes narrowed. “Are you?” he demanded. “You promised willing service as long as I would let your family stay safe. Are you going back on that?”_

_Brian’s eyes widened. “No sir! I… I’ll try harder. I will.”_

_“Good, that’s what I want to see. Reset the hologram. I’ll be watching you.”_

_Brian nodded. “Aye, sir.”_

_“I don’t mean just here for training,” Zator clarified as he started to turn. “I’ll be watching for any moment that you would betray me.”_

_When the door closed behind the Emperor, Brian took a deep breath and spoke. “Reactivate.”_

_As the room darkened, Brian immediately whirled around, going into a fighting stance in preparation._

~~~***~~~ 

“Man,” Kevin muttered. 

“That wasn’t the worst he did to me though.” 

“No?” 

Brian shook his head. “The worst was his subtle lies that got me to go deeper into his service and become Kael.” 

"Lies?" Kevin repeated. "Like what?" 

Brian swallowed. "Like... like my parents only wanted to have me so they could enjoy watching me and Harold argue." Brian shook his head. "And I remembered that there were times when they laughed at our arguments." 

"Well, no offense meant Brian, but some of your arguments were pretty stupid. But that's typical. Kids always have stupid arguments, not just you and Harold." 

Brian's lips twitched. "I know. 'Mom! Harold stole my pen and he won't give it back!' That was dumb. I ended up busting his lip because of it." 

Kevin chuckled. "That one wasn't the worst though. I could give you plenty." 

"Yeah, I bet you could. Since you were involved in about half of them.” His smile dropped. “But..." 

"But?" 

"But that lie wasn't the one that hurt the most." 

"Really? What was?" 

Brian exhaled slowly. "That... that if my family and friends really loved me, you would have come after me already. And that you and the others in the group didn't really like me, you just needed me in order to make money.” 

Kevin gaped. "Brian, you don't believe that, do you?" 

Brian looked at his cousin's eyes for a second, and then looked quickly away. 

Kevin shook his head. "We didn't come after you because we never knew you were with him until you'd already been in his service for a month. And as for the group... you know it's not about the money. It was _never_ about the money. When the five of us are together, everything just clicks. It's not about an individual's particular talents; it's about how it all blends and becomes something more... something very special.” 

Brian hung his head. Even after a year, that lie still held sway in his mind. “I’m sorry, Kevin. I shouldn’t have believed it, but… he’s very convincing.” 

“I know. Zanell warned us about that the first time we met her, remember?” 

Brian winced. “Yeah.” 

Kevin sighed, shaking his head. “No wonder you didn’t sound convinced that Kael’s dead.” 

"So many of Zator's lies still worried me, still hung around me like a heavy weight. A lot... a lot of them got cleared up when you forgave me." 

"Brian-" 

"We should get some sleep.” He stood. “We've got a busy day ahead of us.” 

Kevin stared in surprise at Brian's sudden reluctance to talk. "You okay?" 

"I'm fine, I'm just tired," Brian insisted. "I didn't get a whole lot of sleep." 

Kevin knew something was up, but he decided that pushing his cousin at this point wouldn't work. 

"Well, remember that if you want to talk... any time... just knock on my door," the older man said carefully. 

"Thanks," Brian replied, "I'll take you up on that." 

Kevin watched the younger man head off to bed and wondered how long he had been awake. 

_He'll talk when he's ready_ , he thought as he headed back to his room. 

~~~***~~~ 

"All right Kevin, now don't move." 

Kevin rolled his eyes. "I haven't moved for ten minutes. I'm not going anywhere." 

Despite his grumbling, there was a glimmer of amusement in his green eyes. Normally, a photoshoot – even for a good cause – was a tedious, boring affair that none of the boys particularly liked. But this one was somehow different. The sky was slightly overcast, making lighting conditions perfect for shooting outdoors. The large Community Park had been chosen for the location, and the photographer and his assistant kept an undercurrent of humor going. Even after an hour, the group was still relaxed. 

"Ah, come on, Kev," Nick teased. "You know you love to be the center of attention. After all, you have to keep all those... _mature_... fans happy!" 

"At least I don't have to worry about eleven- and twelve-year-olds chasing me down the sidewalk," Kevin retorted, grinning back. 

Howie chuckled. "Hey, I love 'em all," he said. 

"We know," said Brian and AJ in perfect unison. 

"Hope it doesn't rain," Nick remarked after a few minutes. 

"Even if it does," AJ said, "the fans will certainly enjoy those pictures." 

The photoshoot concluded half an hour later and everyone agreed that it had been the best one that they'd done. 

"I haven't had that much fun during a shoot in a long time," Brian remarked to Kevin as he grabbed a couple of chocolate Dunkin Donuts. 

"Me neither," Kevin agreed, handing Brian a cup of apple cider and grabbing a doughnut for himself. 

"Enjoyed that, did you?" 

Brian turned at the heavy foreign accent to see one of the photography crewmen standing behind him. At least he thought the man was photography. 

"Yeah, we did," he replied. "I've enjoyed family life, but I've kinda missed this." 

"Yeah, it's funny how you can miss the things you used to do. Or the person you used to be." 

Brian looked up sharply, the statement striking an odd chord. He gave the man a closer look. There was something... familiar... about him. 

"Maybe you _like_ the change from the person you used to be," the man continued. 

"What… what do you mean?" 

The man grinned. "Perhaps that person you were before," he leaned in closer and slipped into a different language, “ _was a monster._ " 

Brian froze. He knew that language almost as well as he knew his native tongue. But it had been a year since he'd spoken it. 

He set his food and drink back on the table and faced his former Zophacian colleague. “How did you find me?” 

The man laughed. _"Do you really think it would be that hard? You didn't just disappear when you left your master for Earth. All we had to do was look._ " 

Brian scowled. " _He is not my master._ " 

"Oh really? Then who is he?" 

"He's a monster that finds pleasure in destruction," Brian spat. 

The soldier chuckled. "So did you, once upon a time." 

Brian stiffened and glanced around for the photographer and his assistant, but they were gone. " _Kael loved it._ " 

"As I said. You swore everlasting loyalty to the Emperor and you betrayed him, Kael.” 

“I am not Kael!” 

"We'll see." 

With that, the soldier turned and left, chuckling. Brian glared at his back until he was out of sight. 

"Brian?" 

He blinked. He'd forgotten that he wasn't alone. Turning, he saw Nick staring wide-eyed at him. The others wore similar expressions. 

"What was that?" AJ asked. 

“That was one of Zator’s soldiers. Apparently, he’s been looking for me since I left.” 

"You were speaking Zophacian!" Nick cried. "How? Zanell said it was a difficult language to learn." 

"You'd be surprised how much you can learn in a month with a ship full of people speaking the same language," Brian replied. "You tend to pick it up a little quicker. And Zator taught me most of the time." 

“Zator taught you?” 

“Yes, Howie, Zator taught me. There’s nothing wrong with your hearing.” 

A hand rested on his shoulder. “Brian, is what he said about everlasting loyalty true?” Kevin asked. 

Brian looked away and sighed. “Unfortunately, it’s true. But after what happened, I don’t plan on serving that monster again.” 

He shook away from Kevin’s hand and grabbed his cup. But that soldier had disgusted him so much that the cider didn’t taste good anymore. Neither did the doughnuts. 

“What else have we got today?” 

After a pause, Kevin replied, “Rehearsals sometime after lunch, and then another meeting with the council members to go over what hasn’t been done yet, and maybe we can help rebuild a few things. That gives us two hours of free time till lunch.” 

Brian heaved a deep sigh. “So what are we going to do till then?” 

Kevin raised an eyebrow. Brian never lacked ideas for entertainment. 

“Basketball?” Nick offered. “Then we can look for an arcade somewhere in town.” 

Brian shrugged. “Sure, why not?” 

~~~***~~~ 

“And 5… 6… 7 and 8! One-and-two… That’s it!” 

Brian breathed a sigh of relief. It had been so long since he’d danced that hard that his leg muscles were aching. He moved over to a cooler sitting on the edge of the park’s amphitheater stage and grabbed a water bottle. He downed a third of the precious liquid in seconds. 

“Thirsty, B?” 

“Just a little bit.” 

Nick chuckled as he took a bottle of his own. “I guess none of us have done this in a while, huh?” 

“Man, my legs are _aching_.” 

“We just need to keep practicing.” 

Brian nodded. “It wouldn’t look very good if we were all bending over in pain when we do the concert.” 

Chuckling, Nick replied, “No it wouldn’t. Hey Kev, how much longer we got?” 

"Hopefully not much longer," the oldest replied. "I don't know if continuing will help us or harm us. I, for one, am out of practice." 

"Same here," Brian agreed. 

Nick smirked. “What? With Baylee, you don't get the exercise to stay in shape?" 

"Shut up." 

Kevin shook his head. "You know, that settles it. If you've got enough energy to argue, we can do a little more." 

Four sets of groans met his declaration. Undaunted, he said, "No pain, no… well, no applause." 

"Now that's inspiring," AJ muttered, rolling his eyes. 

“Would you prefer no fans?” 

AJ cringed. 

"Okay, let's do the last two routines in the show and call it good." 

"But what if it's bad?" Nick said, grinning. 

Kevin shook his head and cued the music again. By the time the two routines were completed, all five were groaning. Kevin didn't even have the energy to vocalize; he just waved them off the stage. 

The minute Nick's feet hit the park lawn, however, he seemed to spring back to life. "Hey Bri, come on... how about a little b-ball?" 

Brian looked at his best friend in astonishment. "Man," he said. "If you could ever bottle that energy you seem to find..." 

"Too bad you don't show the same energy during rehearsals," AJ said, wiping his face with a towel. 

"I'm saving myself for the real thing," Nick tossed back. "Come on, Bri, what do you say?" 

"I say that if we don't want to get rained on, we better postpone," Brian said. "Now can someone point me in the direction of the bathroom?" 

"Straight down the path behind the amphitheater," Kevin said. "I found it before we began." 

“Thanks." 

~~~***~~~ 

Brian had just finished washing his hands when two men entered the bathroom. He nodded in greeting and turned back to what he was doing. That was the last coherent thing he remembered. 

~~~***~~~ 

The thunder growled louder and louder. Howie looked up at the sky in worry. 

“It’s getting closer,” he remarked. “I’m gonna go check on Brian.” 

“Howie, chill,” Kevin said. “He’s a grown man and he can take care of himself.” 

“Still, it wouldn’t hurt.” 

Kevin shrugged. “All right. We’ll wait in the van for you.” 

Howie nodded and headed off down the path. He crossed paths with a couple of men coming from the opposite direction. 

“Excuse me,” he called, “did you see anyone in the bathroom? About 5’ 7”, sandy blond hair, blue eyes?” 

One man shook his head. “Nope, sorry. Didn’t see him.” 

“Maybe you just missed him,” another suggested. 

“Yeah, maybe so,” Howie agreed. “Thanks anyway.” 

He didn’t see Brian upon returning to the group, nor was he in the van. “Maybe he thought we’d already gone and caught a cab back to the hotel,” he suggested to the others. 

With confidence that they’d meet back at the hotel, the boys headed off. The rain began to pour just before they arrived at the hotel. Kevin, Howie, AJ, and Nick raced into the hotel and dashed for the elevator. As they stepped inside, Nick hoped that Brian wasn’t caught out in that storm. 

~~~***~~~ 

A deep growl invaded his consciousness. He was cold… and sore… Something flashed behind closed eyelids. His chest burned, and it hurt to breathe. Something was poking his back. His head was pounding, ready to split his skull in two. Another growl, louder now. He realized he was wet. Something splattered all over his body that made him cold and wet. The skin tingled around his eyes as he tried to open them. He managed to see through a small slit in his right eye, while the view was clearer with his left eye. 

_Oh… it’s raining._

He shifted, wanting to get up. Fire raced up his legs as he tried to move. A scream of pain bubbled up inside him and echoed in his surroundings. His eyes flew open and discovered he was in a grove of trees. _Trees…_

Angry brown eyes glared at him as Steve punched him in the chest. He doubled over but was thrown to the side as a fist connected with his jaw. 

He groaned. _No…_ He’d been ambushed just as he finished in the bathroom. 

_Fists and hate-filled words were thrown at him. He couldn’t dodge them. Thrown to the ground and kicked._

He lay curled up on the ground, every bruise on his body pounding to the beat of his heart. 

"Why?” he croaked. 

_“This is for every injury you caused us, you monster!”_

“I’m sorry… I never meant to hurt anyone.” 

_“You killed her! She’s dead because of you!”_

“No… Dear God, why?” he prayed. “Why was I such a monster? I didn’t want to be. I thought I was protecting my family.” His gaze focused on a small bit of the heavens that he could see peeking through the trees. “I never thought I’d kill anyone… please… I’m sure I deserved what I got… but I wanted to make amends. I wanted… I wanted forgiveness.” 

_“Brian?”_

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Dear Lord, please… please forgive me.” 

It started in the center of his chest, tiny at first, and then quickly spread throughout his whole body, enveloping him like a warm blanket. Tears of joy slid down his cheeks as he realized what this feeling was. 

~~~***~~~ 

Howie knelt beside his friend in shock. Bruises covered most of his face and his nose showed signs of previous bleeding. Gosh, what else was wrong? And what had happened to him? Then he noticed that Brian was smiling. Smiling, of all things. How could he be? He _had_ to be in pain with all those injuries. 

"Alan, come here!" he called, then he turned back to his friend. "Brian? Brian, can you hear me?" 

"It's okay," Brian murmured. "I'm okay." 

Howie stared. "You're okay? You sure don't look that way to me. What happened to you?" 

“A... a few people got the revenge they wanted. But really, I'm okay." 

"Brian, you don't look like you can get up without help. Look, we should call the police.... and an ambulance. Alan, can you call an ambulance?" 

“I’m on it.” 

"Howie?" 

“What, B?" 

"Did... did you see a cemetery anywhere in town?" 

"I don't think you're going to need a cemetery," Howie said, his concern growing. 

"Not for me. There's... there's something I need to do, later." 

"Um, okay... look, try to relax until the ambulance arrives." 

Brian chuckled, but winced immediately and pressed a hand to his ribs. Howie gasped and leaned in closer. 

"B?" 

"I-it's okay," Brian managed to say. "It's passing now." He paused, then said, "I guess I know a little of what you and the others went through when Kael tortured you." 

Howie winced as memories of that day flashed through his mind. He shook them away and turned his care back to his friend. 

"Everything's going to be all right, Bri. I promise."


	5. Chapter 5

“He was just lying there, obviously in pain, and yet he was smiling.” 

“Smiling?” Kevin repeated. 

Howie nodded. “For whatever reason, yeah, he was smiling. He also asked me if there was a cemetery in town.” 

“A cemetery? What for?” Nick demanded. 

Howie shrugged. “He just said that there’s something he’d like to do later.” 

“Like what?” AJ asked. “Pick out a spot for himself?” 

“AJ, don’t,” Kevin warned. 

Howie sighed. “He didn’t say, but I don’t think it’s bad.” 

“Speaking of bad, how’s Brian doing?” Kevin asked. 

Howie nodded to the room. “Go see for yourself.” 

The door gave a soft creak as Nick entered first, with the others behind him. He froze as he caught sight of his friend lying on the bed. Brian had two black eyes, a bruise on his cheek, and a cast on his right hand. 

"Aw _man_ ," he exclaimed, his voice full of surprise. 

"What?" AJ asked. "Aw crap," he murmured when he got a glimpse of Brian. Kevin, however, simply stood there in shock. What else had been done to him that they couldn’t see? 

Brian jerked and then groaned quietly. 

Nick hurried closer. "B?" 

Brian managed to open one eye. "Nick?" 

"What _happened_ to you?" Nick demanded. 

Brian shifted on the bed, then sucked in a sharp breath and wrapped an arm around his ribs. "A couple of very vengeful guys with really hard fists," he said dryly. 

"Vengeful?" Nick asked, frowning. 

"They believed that Kael had it coming." 

"But Kael's no longer around," AJ said. "Right?" 

"That's right," Brian replied, looking not at AJ, but at Kevin. "Kael's dead. He died a year ago and he's never coming back." 

Kevin studied his cousin's pure blue eyes, seeing a confidence there that surprised him. 

"We don't have to worry about him anymore," Brian continued with a smile. 

"You sound really sure about that," Kevin said carefully. 

"I am," Brian said simply. 

"You know, if I had just gotten used as a punching bag, I sure as heck wouldn't be smiling. Must be the drugs," AJ commented. 

“Not the drugs," Brian said. "Something much more powerful." 

"And what's that?" 

"Divine forgiveness." 

The other four stood silently, not knowing how to respond. 

Finally Nick spoke. "What do you mean?" 

Brian’s eyes lowered and he sighed softly. "For the past year, I never felt worthy enough to pray. Why would God want to listen to such a wayward child who'd gone against everything he'd been taught? I was serving an evil I'd been told to hate, under the impression that I was protecting my family, when, in all probability, he might have used me to destroy the very people I love most and possibly the entire world.” 

He raised his head but didn’t look at anyone. “But when I was attacked, I realized deep down that not only did I want to come here to make amends for what Kael had done, but also I wanted their forgiveness. My attackers wouldn't give me the chance to speak, so when I regained consciousness, I poured my heart out to God. But something happened… it's hard to explain, but at the very worst moment, when I was feeling the most pain and despair, I felt it.” 

“Felt what?” Nick asked. 

Brian's gaze unfocused for a moment. "It was like... a wave of warmth flowed around me... not physical warmth, but something deeper. Something that went inside." He placed a hand over his heart. "It started here, right in the very center of my heart, like wrapping me in a warm blanket after an eternity in the cold. It seeped into my very soul and I knew... God had forgiven me. Even though I didn't think I deserved forgiveness, He gave it to me anyway." 

AJ looked away and cleared his throat. The revelation that Brian hadn’t felt worthy enough to pray to God was startling, but when he’d described what he had felt, AJ knew that another step in the healing process had been taken. Hoping no one saw, he brushed away a tear that threatened to fall from his eye. When he turned back, Kevin was lowering onto the bed. 

“You’re certain that Kael’s gone?” he asked. 

Brian nodded, looking him straight in the eye. “I’m positive, Kevin. That monster died last year, and we won’t see him again. I swear.” 

Finally, Kevin smiled. “I believe you. But,” he continued, “what are we going to do about the concert? You’re injured and I’m sure the doctor wants you on bed rest until you’re healed.” 

Brian glanced at his wrist. “Well, she wants me to be careful. According to Dr. Renkins, I can’t do any major moving around for another week. She says it means no dancing and no heavy lifting. So I can’t help do any rebuilding. And I have to be careful about long-distance walking. No running just yet.” 

“What about the concert?” AJ asked. “Did you mention that to her?” 

“Yeah, I did. When were we planning on doing the concert?” 

“Next Wednesday,” Kevin replied. “But since you’re injured, we may have to can—“ 

“Say ‘cancel’ and I’ll whoop your butt as soon as I’m better,” Brian threatened, jabbing a finger at his cousin. “There’s nothing wrong with postponing it a week or so. It’ll give us more time to help these people rebuild their home.” 

“You’re not afraid?” Nick asked. “Of whoever it was that beat you up doing it again?” 

Brian shook his head. “No, they got the vengeance they wanted. But if they were trying to run me out of town, it’s not going to work. There’s too much I have to do.” 

Howie stepped closer. “Bri, when I first found you, you asked me if there was a cemetery in town. Why did you want to know?” 

Sorrow filled their friend’s features as he looked down. Howie started in surprise. “Brian, what’s wrong?” 

“People died,” he murmured. “Several people died the day of the attack, while others… passed on later in the hospital.” 

AJ’s mouth hung open in shock. Then he realized, “Kael murdered innocent people?” 

“And gave his soldiers the free will do the same,” Brian replied tightly. 

His companions shifted in an uncomfortable silence. Brian directed his gaze to the window; it displayed the clouds beginning to blow over from the storm. 

He spoke softly. “I just need to go… to make peace, or at least try.” 

“You want company?” Nick asked. 

Brian pressed his lips together and considered the offer. Finally, he spoke. “All right. But give me some distance when we get there, whenever we go. I’d like to be by myself for a bit.” 

Nick nodded. “Sure, pal.” 

~~~***~~~ 

AJ entered Brian’s hotel room to see him struggling to get out of bed. Brian was moving slow but he kept wincing in pain. AJ went to his side and held out a hand. 

“You need help getting up?” 

Brian shook his head and gripped the nightstand. “No, I can do it.” 

AJ raised an eyebrow but remained silent and watched his older friend bite his lip as he stood. He stepped closer and wrapped an arm around Brian. 

“Where you heading, anyway?” 

“Bathroom.” 

“Okay, let me help you.” 

Brian started to move away. “I don’t need help.” 

“You’re in pain, Rok. We can all see it. Now let me help.” 

“I don’t need help!” Brian repeated as they made it to the hallway. 

AJ shook his head as they reached the bathroom. “Boy, you and Kevin are definitely related. The same stubborn streak running through your genes.” 

Brian rolled his eyes and pushed the door open. “Thanks.” 

AJ watched him shuffle into the bathroom and shut the door. “Country boy pride,” he muttered as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. It had been three days since he’d left the hospital, and Brian had been insisting on trying to do everything himself. In the hospital, he had to depend on the nurses and doctors to help him. 

A few seconds later, he heard a sharp hiss from the bathroom and looked at the door. “You okay, B?” 

“I’m fine,” Brian grunted. 

_Yeah right, you’re fine._ A tense minute later, Brian opened the door again. AJ repeated his earlier question of Brian’s health. 

“I said I’m fine.” 

“So explain why you hissed in there.” 

Brian looked away. Without a word, he headed for the couch. AJ sighed and followed him. Reluctant to make his friend mad, he held back and watched Brian sink onto the couch. The older man groaned and stretched his legs out. 

“You okay?” 

Brian sighed. “Not really. When I was attacked, someone gave me a good kick in the pants twice.” 

AJ cringed. “Eeesh. I’m sorry, bro.” 

“It… hurts to urinate,” he muttered. “It’s not so bad now as it was in the hospital, but it still stings a little.” 

“You want some ice for it?” AJ offered. 

“Nah, just some medicine,” Brian replied. “I’ve got a prescription for the pain on my dresser.” 

“Yeah, I saw you taking something earlier around breakfast.” 

Brian checked his watch. “I’ll need to take it soon, then. So, what brought you to check on me?” 

“Just wanted to see how you were doing before we head off to practice. We’ll be doing some rebuilding later on, I believe.” 

Brian managed a half-smile. “I’m jealous. Wish I could help, but…” 

“But you’re still injured and Dr. Renkins told you to take it easy,” AJ finished. 

“Yeah.” He looked away momentarily. “When you guys are done… could someone drop me off at the cemetery? I think Nick wanted to come since he offered.” 

AJ nodded. “Yeah, I think we can do that. You just take it easy until then.” 

Brian rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. And in case Kevin asks, I'll take my medication on time." 

"He's just worried about you, man," AJ said with a smile. "So are the rest of us." 

"Yeah, I know." Brian motioned to the door. "You'd better go or you'll be late." 

"See ya." 

When he heard the door shut behind him, Brian heaved a deep sigh and leaned his head back. He had to agree with AJ; the others did have the right to worry about him. Especially after the attack. He winced, remembering the hatred flowing around him that evening. Had it been too much to hope that these people could forgive him for the monstrous thing he had allowed to happen? 

His thoughts suddenly went to Leighanne. She had been the one that had started him thinking of forgiveness. He realized that he hadn't contacted her for several days. Surely she'd be worried by now. A minute later he was automatically dialing the number he knew so well. 

"Hello?" came the greeting after a few rings. 

"Leigh," he said, smiling. "It's me." 

"Brian! Is everything all right? I haven't heard from you. Is-" 

"Take it easy!" Brian interrupted, hoping to calm the frantic tone he heard in her voice. "I'm sorry I haven't called lately. Things... well, things got a little troublesome." 

There was a pause. "Troublesome?" Leigh asked. "Like how?" 

Brian took a deep breath, and bit by bit, he told her everything that had happened since their arrival in Riverview. "And as soon as the others get back," he concluded, "Nick and I'll head off to the cemetery. You know, to... pay our respects and… make peace with what happened." 

"Are you sure you're ready to do that?" Leigh asked softly. 

"Whether I am or not, I have to. I really feel it's what I have to do. Yes, God has forgiven me, but I'd still feel better knowing I've tried to make peace with the people I hurt." 

"You mean the people that monster hurt," Leigh corrected. "He is gone, isn't he?" 

"Yeah, he's gone. This is just the final thing, I think. Closure, you know?" 

Even though he couldn't see it, he was certain his wife was giving him that soft smile he'd fallen in love with. "I understand. I'm proud of you for doing this, Brian. I love you." 

He closed his eyes as his heart swelled with love for her. Hearing her say how proud she was of him was one of the best things he could ever know. "I love you too, baby. Give Baylee a kiss for me." 

“I will. Take care of yourself, Brian.” 

“I’ll do my best. I’ll call you soon, I promise.” 

“Okay. Bye.” 

“Bye.” 

Knowing that he had his wife's strong support and love behind him, Brian felt equal to the task. When Nick got back, he would be ready to go to the cemetery and make his peace. He rose from the couch and picked up the song list for the upcoming concert; he wasn't up to dancing, but he could practice his vocal parts. He found, with his injuries, it was easier said than done. But he pushed past the discomfort and did a session of breathing exercises. 

By the time he began singing he was slightly tired. Still, he sang. And his ears detected a new strength in his voice, a new determination. It inspired him to push his talents even further. After half an hour, he needed to rest. But Brian was pleased; he had a way to go, but for the first time things looked very positive. 

Checking the time, he realized that he didn't know how long the others would be gone. He took care as he lowered onto the couch. Maybe he could rest a bit before they got back. Before he registered the transition, he was fast asleep. 

As consciousness returned, Brian heard the sound of whispering voices just beyond him. After lying motionless for a minute longer, he recognized AJ’s voice. 

“I thought we’d already agreed on that, Kev. Nick offered to go, so let him go with Brian.” 

“I’m just worried, that’s all,” Kevin replied. “I do trust Nick, I just…” 

Now he heard Nick’s voice. “Kev, it’ll be okay. I’ll look out for him.” 

“Well…” 

He took a deep breath. Time to introduce himself. “You don’t have to baby-sit me, you know.” 

“Brian?” 

He opened his eyes to see Kevin leaning over the back of the couch. He smiled. “Hey.” 

Kevin smiled in return. “How you doing?” 

“All right, I guess,” he replied, sitting up. “Still a bit sore, but I’ll be okay. How long have you been back?” 

“Just a couple of minutes.” 

“You still want to go, B?” Nick asked. 

Remembering the conversation with his wife, Brian nodded. “Yeah, I do.” 

“All right. Let me shower first, and then we can get going.” 

~~~***~~~ 

Nick glanced over at his companion as they arrived at the cemetery. It had seemed like Brian was ready and anxious to head off when they left, but the closer they got to the cemetery, the more nervous and quiet he’d become. Brian continued to stare at the gate, swallowing hard every few seconds. 

“You ready?” 

Brian nodded. “Yeah… just trying to work up the nerve to do it.” 

“All you need to do is unbuckle and step out of the car.” 

“I… I know. It’s just…” 

Nick set a hand on his shoulder when he trailed off. “You’ve made it this far, bro. You know we’re behind you all the way.” 

Brian glanced at him and smiled. “Yeah.” 

“We’re proud of you, y’know,” he continued. “All of us. The others may not have said it yet, so I’ll say it for them.” 

Brian just stared in silence for a few moments, then smiled again and unbuckled. “Let’s go.” 

The friends traveled through the cemetery, following paths that they’d been told would lead to the graves of the people that had died the previous March. Brian’s pace was determined, as though moving slowly would change his mind about what he was planning to do. All of a sudden he stopped and Nick had to sidestep to avoid crashing into him. 

“What’s the matter?” he demanded. Then he looked beyond Brian and saw it. A woman knelt in front of a grave, a small bouquet of flowers at her knees. 

“Is that one of the graves?” 

Brian nodded. “Yeah,” he croaked. He turned to leave. “Maybe we should come back another day.” 

Nick held him back. “Wait a minute, Brian. You shouldn’t leave just because someone else is here.” 

“I… I don’t want to intrude. She might be sharing a private moment with whoever it is she lost.” 

Nick licked his lips and thought a moment. “Bri, this might be the best way to make peace with those that Kael attacked; by making peace with their families. Even if they hold a grudge against you, which I doubt they will since you don’t act or dress like Kael does-“ 

Brian chuckled. “That’s what Kevin said.” 

“Smart man. Even if they don’t forgive you, you need to remember that God has forgiven you and so has your Backstreet family.” 

Brian studied the ground for a minute before replying. “You’re right.” He looked back at the woman, took a deep breath, and headed over. 

~~~***~~~ 

“Master, we found Kael.” 

“Excellent. Was he approached?” 

“Yes, sir. But I’m afraid his reaction was full of hatred toward you.” 

The master growled. “Thanks to his human friends, no doubt.” 

“No doubt, sir. What do you wish to be done?” 

He scowled. “Return to Earth and make sure he understands the punishment for betraying me.” 

~~~***~~~ 

"It's getting late." 

"They'll be back, Kev," Howie replied, repeating the same thing he'd told the older man for the past half-hour. 

"What if they ran into trouble?" 

"Someone would have contacted us by now," AJ said. 

Kevin shook his head. "I shouldn't have let them go." 

"Kevin, relax!" Howie cried. "Brian had to go, and this was the time they wanted to do this. They'll be back soon. Trust me." 

"But-" Kevin stopped at the sound of the door opening. He leaped to his feet and hurried over to see Nick closing the door and Brian removing his coat. He paused and studied his cousin. There was something different now, something in his eyes. He seemed more... well, he couldn't find the right word for it. 

"How'd it go?" was the only question he could think to ask. 

Brian offered him a smile. "It went well." 

Kevin frowned at the less-than-informative answer. "Care to relay any details?" 

Brian crossed the room and sank down onto the couch. "Yeah, sure... it's just been a long afternoon," he said. 

The others took seats around the room and waited for him to begin. 

"Well, when we got there, I expected to find the cemetery pretty empty," Brian said. "I was just going to visit the graves, you know... But there were visitors." 

"Just around, or at the actual, um, gravesites?" Howie asked carefully. 

"Right there where I needed to be." He shook his head. "It was hard to approach them." 

"You spoke to them?" AJ asked, surprised. "The families and all?" 

Brian nodded. "Yeah. I was nervous, but it was all right. They weren't bitter," he continued. "They were angry at Kael for what he did to them, as they had every right to be. But each one of them told me that they're stronger for it. Their loved ones are in God's hands and it's only a matter of time before they'll be together again." 

Kevin leaned forward, absorbed in watching his cousin relay the tale. He wasn't sure if he'd have enough courage to do what Brian had done. 

"But how did they not equate you with Kael?" AJ asked. "I mean, surely they didn't just take your word for it with no questions." 

Brian was silent for a moment. "They looked in my eyes," he said quietly. "They must have seen that we aren't the same. They asked questions, yes... but each one judged me, and had the graciousness to listen to my story." 

"Most of them consider Brian as much of a victim in all of this as the others," Nick added. "They knew that no sane human could have done such a thing." 

Brian twisted his ring and said, "One lady, who lost her husband during the attack, actually gave me a hug and said she was sorry I was involved in such a terrible thing. When I think of her capacity for forgiveness and understanding..." He blinked. "It was humbling." 

"It's not always easy to do the right thing," Howie said. "But I admire that you had the courage to do that, Bri. Not a whole lot of people would want to do that, confront the past in the way you did." 

"Howie's right," Kevin added. "I'm in awe of that courage, cuz. I'm proud of you for doing that." 

“So am I,” AJ agreed. 

Brian looked at the four faces around him. His brothers, his family... Knowing how they all felt made his heart swell with gratitude. Their understanding meant more than he could ever express. And the fact that they were proud of him was almost too good to believe. 

"Thanks," he said a bit shakily. "Thanks for... well, everything. I couldn't have done any of this without all of you." 

"That's what family is all about," Nick said with a smile. 

"Exactly," Kevin echoed. The other two nodded in agreement. 

"Maybe we can all move forward now, together," Brian said. "This can be a whole new beginning... not just for me, but for us all."


	6. Chapter 6

"Kev, don't strain yourself carrying that! Remember, you're not Power Lord right now."

AJ snickered at Brian's comment, ignoring the mock glare from the eldest. 

"That may be so, but you're not exactly Top Speed yet, either." 

Nick laughed, glad to hear the banter. Ever since he and Brian had returned from the cemetery two days before, things had changed. Thankfully, for the better. Humor and joking came easily, and it felt like old times again. 

"Nick, come help me open this thing!" 

"Sure, D. You want me or Ninjaman?" 

"Well," Howie grunted, "if this bag doesn't open, I may need Ninjaman's sword." 

A new voice joined them. "Don't be too much longer, fellas. We've done quite a lot already and we're about done for the day." 

"Already?" Nick asked in surprise, and then spared a glance at his watch. Sure enough, it was nearing dinnertime. 

"Man. Guess we got carried away in the fun," AJ remarked. 

"Let's get some dinner," Kevin suggested. "Then we can head back to the hotel." 

"McDonald's!" Nick shouted. 

"That's not dinner," Kevin replied. "I mean real food." 

"But McDonald's is real food-" came the protest. 

"Can we just get room service or something?" Brian asked. "We had McDonald's just the other day. Besides," he rolled a shoulder, "I'm starting to hurt a little." 

"You need your meds?" Kevin wondered. 

"I'll take them during dinner. Let's just head back to the hotel and order out." 

"Well, okay, but only because you need your meds, Bri," Nick mumbled. 

Brian smiled. "Tell you what, Frack, the next time we get McDonald's, I'll pay for it. And I'll let you kick my butt at the video game of your choice." 

"I can kick your butt at video games any time," Nick grinned, brightening up. "But you're on about treating me. I'll just make sure I'm extra hungry." 

The friends laughed. 

"Shotgun!" Nick shouted. 

"Not if I get there first!" Brian argued as they took off toward the van. 

Nick had almost made it to the van when he heard a pained gasp from behind him. He whirled around to see Brian doubled over, clutching his stomach. Howie put a hand on Brian's shoulder as Nick raced back to his friend's side. "Brian, are you all right?" 

The older blonde hissed, then tried to straighten and nodded. "Yeah, I'm cool, Nick." 

"That doesn't look cool, B. You're getting the front seat by default." 

Brian tried to protest, but Howie and Nick were already leading him to the van. Kevin had been about to climb in the driver's side when he hurried back over. "Brian, are you okay? What happened?" 

"I'm fine, Kev. My side hurt for a little bit, that's all." 

"He gets the front seat," Nick announced. "It'll be easier to keep an eye on him." 

Brian rolled his eyes. "Guys, I swear I'm _fine_!" 

"Brian, you clutching your stomach is not fine," Kevin insisted. "Get in the van." 

Despite what he told his friends, Brian's muscles were hurting too much to argue and he climbed into the front seat without argument. Without another word, the others climbed in and they set off back to the hotel. 

As they waited at a red light, Brian began silently wishing for his pills. He reached for the handle that would lean his seat back; it was getting uncomfortable to sit up like he was. 

"Bri?" 

"I'm not waiting for dinner to take my pills," was the strained reply. 

Kevin glanced over towards his cousin. "You're looking kinda pale," he noted with a frown. "Did you overdo it?" 

After a moment, Brian admitted, "Maybe a little." He didn't bother to look at the older man. The last thing he wanted was to see the 'I told you so' in his eyes. Instead, he gazed out the window. A movement caught his eye; looking up, he saw a strange black silhouette racing across the sky. 

He squinted. "What's that?" 

"Looks a little like a Stealth," AJ remarked. 

"Couldn't be," Kevin corrected. "It's not the right shape, and this isn't a place for them to fly over." 

He noticed the light change green, and he continued back to the hotel. Out of the corner of his eye, Kevin noticed his cousin shift slightly, wince, and close his eyes. They arrived at the hotel five minutes later. Brian wasted no time heading up to the room and downing his pills. Howie placed a room service order for dinner so they could all simply relax that evening. Nick asked if Brian felt up to playing a video game, but Brian simply said 'no' and lay down on the couch until the food arrived. 

By the time the meal was finished, Brian was barely able to hold his head up. He mumbled his goodnights and went straight to bed. Finally, pain-free, he drifted off into a deep and dreamless sleep. 

~~~***~~~ 

He snapped awake, gasping for breath and sitting bolt upright in reaction to the terror he felt. Somehow, he stopped himself from crying out. His body shook from the aftershock of the nightmare, terror still gripping his heart. Although he _knew_ it had only been a dream, the pulse continued to pound in his veins. He forced himself to slow his breathing; his skin felt cold, and he realized he was covered in sweat. 

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he put his head in his hands and tried to push the horrifying emotions back. It would have helped if it had been just a dream rather than a recollection. But the feelings of pain, helplessness, and terror had come sharp and clear, propelling him back a year in time. It took a while, but he finally felt his heartbeat slow and his confusion clear. The memories, however, didn't fade. He knew it was all in the past; that's what they were here for, to make amends and build a future. But the memories... 

He stumbled into the bathroom and splashed his face with cool water, which helped a bit. He came back to the bedroom but knew he'd never be able to fall asleep. The nagging sensation of worry pulled him towards the door. Although logically he knew everyone was safe and whole, his heart feared for their wellbeing. Quietly, he moved out of his bedroom, compelled to check on his brothers. 

He came to the door nearest his own and paused a moment, listening. There was no sound emanating from within. His hand hovered just above the doorknob; it would be an invasion of privacy, something he wouldn't normally think of doing. But the dream... the memories... He soundlessly turned the knob and opened the door just far enough to view the occupant. AJ was sprawled diagonally across the bed, snoring softly. The image of AJ glaring out from behind the forcefield of his cell on Zator's ship flashed in his eyes for a moment. He winced at the memory, still fresh from his nightmare. Quickly stepping back, he shut the door and moved down the hallway. 

He didn't hesitate at the next door; he soundlessly opened it and stared at the tangle of sheets on the bed. It took a moment for him to register the form underneath. Howie was, apparently, sleeping quite soundly, snuggled around a pillow, and almost completely covered up. A barely audible noise sounded through the room... thankfully, it was a contented sigh. A great contrast to the image in his mind's eye... Howie, being led out of the prison cell, knowing he was about to be tortured... The defeated look in his eyes when he returned... He shuddered. The Howie of that time had healed, he told himself. The pain and torture were back in the past. One more glance at the sleeping man, and he closed the door. 

He stood in the hallway, beginning to feel foolish. There was no reason to think anyone was in danger now. Still... He knew he wouldn't be able to rest until he checked on all his brothers, foolish or not. He turned to another door. The moment he opened it, he heard a strange muted sound... music. Music? When his eyes adjusted, he saw the source. Nick was sound asleep, headphones on, and the CD player still activated. The sight brought a small smile to his face. How many times had he seen the same picture? Nick was continually going through batteries for his player for exactly that reason. He thought about turning the device off but didn't want to risk disturbing the youngest. With a vague grin, he left the blond to his music. 

The last door loomed before him. The man within had been featured predominantly in his nightmares, and he hesitated to approach him. He knew all had been forgiven, and the past was... well, the past... but he couldn't get the scenes out of his mind. Cold eyes, distant and alien. The force of a blow, the emotional hurt much worse than the pain... the words, directing the torture session without regret... His hands started to shake again, but he clenched them into fists. He refused to be chained to the past. Refused to let his nightmare affect the present. 

"Brian is _not_ Kael," Kevin verified, needing to hear his own voice. "That was a year ago. The dream was just a dream." It was hard to reconcile the dream images with current reality, though. With a great deal of courage, he opened the last door. 

Brian was still a bit pale, the bruises fading but still visible. He'd suffered, and it hurt to see the aftermath. Kevin clenched his jaw. They'd all suffered. Would they ever be free of the past? Brian shifted in his sleep and sighed, a small smile coming to his face, a peaceful smile, not at all like the one that haunted his nightmares for the past year. Kevin watched in silence. He'd had a rough time, but Brian had been through much more. 

Letting the younger man sleep in peace, he backed away and left the room. Seeing his brothers all safe and sound should have eased his mind, but the anxiety clung tightly. Knowing that it would be time wasted going to bed again, he sat on the couch and switched the television on. He turned the volume off, not wanting to disturb the others, and settled in to an old movie. 

~~~***~~~ 

AJ stretched and yawned, rolling out of bed with little grace. After a quick trip to the bathroom, he wandered towards the suite's small kitchen. Coffee was needed, and lots of it. Passing through the living room, loud snoring reached his ears. He paused. _What in the heck?_ He stopped at the sight of Kevin, sprawled haphazardly on the couch, with the television turned on to the early local news. That was odd, he thought. He'd rarely seen Kevin sleeping on the couch with the television on. Heck, he'd rarely seen Kevin asleep on the couch period. 

He was tempted to wake him abruptly, but it was simply too early to be that cruel. Smiling, he went about fixing coffee, hoping that the aroma would wake the man. It wasn't too long before he heard someone... Nick, by the stumbling sounds... coming down the hall. He made a 'quiet' motion the moment the blond came into view and pointed to the sleeping man. 

"What's that about?" Nick asked sleepily, rubbing his face. 

"Dunno," AJ said with a shrug. The coffee finished brewing and he poured two cups. Nick accepted one without a word and sipped gratefully. The two youngest Boys contemplated their sleeping bandmate. 

"We ought to wake him. Man, he's really snoring," Nick said. 

"Yeah, but... how? This is a golden opportunity. I mean, how often do we catch Kev like that? Hey... you got a camera?" 

"Naw, man. Ask Brian." 

"Ask me what?" came the mumbled southern voice. 

AJ made a shushing motion. "Go get your camera, this is a Kodak moment." He nodded towards the still-snoring Kevin. 

"What's he doing on the couch?" Brian said. 

"Who cares? Just go get the camera!" 

"Aje, this isn't going to be like the stuff you pull with Howie, is it?" 

A snort came from the couch, and the three bandmates turned their gaze to Kevin. But the eldest just turned his head and started snoring again. A collective sigh of relief filled the room and AJ made one more pleading motion to get the camera. After staring at him for another minute, Brian just shook his head and headed to his room. Seconds later, he returned with the camera, followed by Howie. AJ promptly snatched it from his hand and moved to the couch. 

"You're welcome," Brian grumbled as AJ snapped picture after picture. "Don't use up all that film!" 

A moment later, the camera was thrust back at him. "Better hide it quick, B." 

With a roll of his eyes, Brian headed back to his room. Rounding the couch, he accidentally bumped the arm. Kevin awoke with a shout. He sat up gasping and looked around with wide eyes. His reaction took them all by surprise; smiles vanished in an instant. 

"Whoa, Kev," Howie said evenly. "Easy there." 

Wide emerald eyes moved rapidly, taking in the surroundings. The panic in them fled as he realized where he was. He sighed heavily and rubbed his face. 

"What was that all about?" AJ said, frowning with concern. 

"Oh, ah... nothing," Kevin said, an obvious lie. 

"Right," AJ replied, crossing his arms. "Now the truth." 

"Just disoriented for a sec," the eldest said elusively. 

Brian raised an eyebrow. "Do you really expect us to believe that, Kevin?" 

Kevin froze. Although the words were spoken in a caring voice, his mind swept him back to another time... when it had been Kael saying them. Color drained from his face as the memory assaulted him; the terror from his recent nightmare gripped him once again and he suddenly couldn't breathe. Sound dissolved into a mottled drone; his vision began to blur. A grip, harsh and demanding, on his arm, someone shouting... He struggled to be free, but tiny black dots crept into his peripheral vision. Then a push on his back, forcing him forward... 

"Come on Kev, steady breaths..." came the words sometime later. "That's it, nice and deep... it's okay, give yourself a second..." 

He fought for control, not understanding what was happening. Finally, words that made some sense reached his ears. 

"...panic attack or something," said a familiar voice. 

"...a doctor?" 

"...no, I think he's coming around..." 

"Kev? Can you hear me, bro?" 

He grasped at the voice. Someone he knew, he trusted... "H-Howie?" he managed to whisper, dismayed at how shaky his voice was. 

"Yeah, it's me. You okay now?" 

"I... what..." 

"It looked like a panic attack," Howie explained. "Has this happened before?" 

"It... no, not in a long time," he said. "It's been months..." 

"Here," said a second voice as a cool smooth object was thrust into his hands. 

He looked up, finally able to focus. Nick was standing in front of him, clear worry on his face. 

"Drink a little, it might help," the blond suggested. 

Kevin regarded the glass of water and sipped cautiously. "Thanks," he said a moment later. He raised his eyes and looked around, then ducked his head in embarrassment. 

"Sorry about that," he apologized in a quiet, strained voice. 

"Are you okay, Kev?" Brian asked. "Did I say something wrong?" 

"No, it's just... it's nothing," Kevin answered, staring into the half-empty glass. 

"Didn't look like nothing to me," Brian declared. "People don't have panic attacks for no reason." 

"Really, I'm fine," he insisted. "You don't have to worry about it." He cleared his throat, then said, "I must have fallen asleep out here." 

No one was put off by the quick change of subject. AJ said, "So why were you out here to begin with?" 

"I couldn't sleep." It was the truth. 

No one argued. They all knew of separate times when they'd found him unable to sleep for one reason or another. Kevin glanced at the clock, then realized something. 

"I need to get a shower, and everyone needs to be ready to leave in twenty minutes. We've got the final rehearsal today and the interview with the local radio at 11. Not to mention the photo publicity shoot and the meet and greet later-" 

"And the concert tonight," Nick added. 

"Tomorrow," Kevin corrected. 

"Right," Nick said, grinning. "Just wanted to see if you were awake." 

"What about breakfast?" AJ asked. 

"Order room service, we can eat before we head out. And before you suggest it, Nick... no McDonald's." 

Nick closed his mouth. Sometimes Kevin was just plain scary. With that, the oldest rose from the couch and headed rather quickly towards his room. 

Brian spoke once he was out of sight. "That was the lamest change of topics I've ever heard." 

"It's obvious he doesn't want to talk about it," Howie said. "We should give him his space for a while." 

AJ frowned once again. "Anyone catch the bit about his panic attacks, that this wasn't the first one he's had?" 

"I never heard about them before," Brian admitted. "But... I can guess what they're about." 

"What?" 

Brian just gazed at him in silence. "He didn't freak out until I said something," he said at last. "I'm sure it has everything to do with Kael, and what happened a year ago." 

The four friends glanced at Kevin's door. 

"I guess the healing process isn't finished," Howie observed. 

"We're all struggling with it," Brian said. "But maybe this concert will make the difference." 

"I hope so," Nick said, a troubled look on his face. 

By the time Kevin emerged from his room, there was no trace of the earlier incident on his face. The food arrived, and breakfast was quickly eaten. The day was going to be a busy one.


	7. Chapter 7

The two visitors made their way through the crowd arriving at the amphitheater. Another hour or so, and this concert would begin. The first looked around in wonder at the excitement on every face waiting in anticipation for a long-awaited event. She shook her head in amazement; such love for the five men that would soon be on stage singing their hearts out. She cast a glance at her silent companion and they pressed forward, closer to the front. They didn’t want to be visible at just a glance, but they would be seen eventually.

~~~***~~~ 

He heard the rise of excited noises from outside the changing room. He felt a matchless thrill sweep through his body as reasons of their visit to the town came to his mind: assistance in rebuilding their town and lives, to let them know that Backstreet was coming back, and his own personal reasons of closure and forgiveness. After today, all those reasons would be achieved and they would leave to prepare for the big comeback. 

"Can this day get any better?" he wondered aloud. 

"Anything is possible in this business," AJ replied. 

Brian could only grin and continue changing. The thrill could be felt by all within that room. It felt good to be going back to this. Someone knocked on the door and a head popped in. 

"Finish up, gentlemen. You'll be starting in about five minutes." 

A thrill of anticipation shot through all five men. 

"Well, guys, this is it," Howie said with a grin. 

"Feels good," Nick said, his blue eyes lit with excitement. 

"A whole new beginning," Brian added, nodding his head. 

"The first concert of many more to come," Kevin said as he crossed his fingers. 

"Enough jawing, let's get going!" AJ said, waving his arm towards the door. "Our fans are waiting!" 

They said a prayer of thanks together, then headed out to the stage. Any initial misgivings were swept away by the enthusiastic cheers of the crowd as the five took the stage. As if they had never stopped performing, they hit the first note in perfect harmony. With power and feeling, they launched the first song. The crowd's response only increased their energy, and their impassioned performance continued. It felt right, it felt natural. Every one of them relaxed and they reveled in the positive feelings around them. 

Before they knew it, they received the signal from the stage director that it was time for the mid-concert break and clothing change. Finishing 'Everybody', they moved to leave the stage when Brian caught something out of the corner of his eye. He paused, nearly causing AJ to run into him. He only caught a glimpse before he was rushed off, but it was enough to make him curious. 

“What was that about?" AJ asked as they raced to change clothes. 

"I thought I saw someone..." Brian answered. 

“Yeah, about five hundred someones,” Nick interrupted. 

"No, I know that," Brian retorted. "I mean I saw someone familiar. It looked like…” 

"Like?" Kevin pressed when Brian trailed off. 

Brian shook his head. "Never mind. They wouldn't be here." 

“Who wouldn't be here?" Howie asked, slipping a new shirt on. 

Brian hesitated. "Never mind. I had to have been mistaken." 

“On what?” 

"Forget it," he said, waving a hand. 

"You feeling okay, Bri?" Kevin asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Brian tossed his crumpled-up shirt at his cousin. "Sheesh, let it rest, will ya?" he said, trying to scowl. "I'm fine, don't worry. Let's get back and finish the show." He downed a quick gulp of water and started for the door. 

Despite what he said to his friends, Brian couldn't get that flash of familiarity out of his mind. He decided that he'd try to spot whoever it was and see if he was right. As they came back on stage, Brian scanned the crowd. At first, he saw nothing but a sea of applauding fans. He took his spot and got ready to begin. 

Nick glanced over at his best friend, wondering about the conversation in the dressing room. He was watching his friend's face when he saw recognition hit. Quickly, Nick followed Brian's line of sight. He did a double-take as he saw what had startled him so much. 

"Zanell?" Nick exclaimed, shocked. 

At the word, AJ, who was nearest to Nick, looked over. 

"What are they doing here?" AJ said out loud. 

Although the noise of the crowd was considerable, both Kevin and Howie heard AJ's comment and looked over. Zanell and Serafina. No one had a chance to act further when the music started a split second later. 

Throughout the next few songs, Brian wondered what had brought Zanell and Serafina back to Earth. He glanced over at them every few minutes, but they were just singing along and dancing with the crowd. The concert continued, and finally, the notes to the next-to-the-last song sounded. The entire crowd began singing along with _I Want It That Way_ , and the Backstreet Boys smiled. 

_This is the way it should be,_ Brian thought as he listened to Nick singing. _This is more than I ever hoped for..._

Suddenly, a scream sounded over the general noise of the singing. It was so out of place, AJ faltered his line. No one noticed, however, as more voices joined in the alarming sound. Chaos erupted everywhere. 

With horror, Brian spied an all too familiar sight. Black uniforms, crimson flames on the chests. Dark, angry eyes met his. A gun! 

“Down!” he shouted as he hit the floor of the stage. The laser bolt sailed right over his head to strike the wall behind him. 

“What was that?” Howie shouted. 

Brian climbed back to his feet and ripped off his headset. “Need you ask?” he demanded. “It’s Zator’s soldiers!” 

Without another word, headsets and microphones were flung aside and amulets were activated. 

Brian leaped off the stage into the crowd, then turned and shouted, "Howie, we need to get these people to safety! Think you can do it?" 

While the crowd dispersed, Howie closed his eyes and concentrated. With the help of his special powers, he created an elaborate, far-reaching illusion. Suddenly, dozens of soldiers appeared in front of the attackers, all wearing the familiar black and red. Not wanting to fire on their own troops, the real soldiers ceased fire, trying to figure out what was going on. 

_Nice,_ Brian thought as he moved through the crowd toward the attackers. _That should hold their attention for a while._

He motioned for AJ and Nick to follow him into the forest. As they went, he whispered his plan to sneak up and attack the soldiers from behind. AJ suddenly darted to the left, snatching something up off the ground. He held an abandoned laser gun aloft, a wide grin on his face. 

Brian extended a hand. "Let me use it, Aje. I know how to use one of those better than you. Besides, you've got your own guns." 

AJ tossed the gun and was surprised to see Brian's skillful catch and immediate gunslinger grip. He shook his head at Brian's "told ya" grin, then continued to follow his friends. 

"Listen," Nick suddenly announced. He paused and turned his head to the right, listening. 

Brian and AJ stopped and looked where Nick was gazing. 

"Someone's coming," Brian remarked. 

Nick nodded and moved off. AJ started to follow, but Brian held him back. 

“He's most quiet of the three of us. Let him go." 

The two friends continued to watch and listen, waiting for Nick to return. The whine of a laser gun sliced the air, followed immediately by an angry yell in Zophacian. AJ felt his friend stiffen beside him but said nothing. Half a minute later, Nick returned with a bloody sword in his hand. Brian took a step back, then shook his head and stopped. 

"What'd he say?" AJ asked, eyes scanning ahead. 

"Trust me," Brian said, "you don't want to know." 

AJ grimaced. "That bad, huh?" 

Brian nodded, then turned to Nick. "Can you please clean that off?" 

Nick glanced down at his sword, nodded in understanding, and wiped it off in the grass. Without another word, the friends continued on. AJ suddenly fired off a couple of shots, not even pausing his pace. 

"Two down," he said flatly. 

"Five hundred to go," Nick added. 

Brian remained silent, his mind calculating where the troops should be. 

"If they're doing a standard attack pattern, the biggest number should now be to our left," Brian said. "There will be a small contingent hanging behind, so we need to watch our backs as well." 

AJ nodded, understanding that Brian was speaking with inside information. Nick frowned briefly; of course, Brian would know troop movements, since it was just last year he was leading them on a very similar attack. 

"I'll cover the rear," AJ said, raising a gun, "and you and Nick can hit the main body of them." 

Brian nodded and the trio split. It wasn't long before Brian and Nick heard the sounds of AJ's sharpshooting; soon, they were in the thick of the fight. 

~~~***~~~ 

He watched from a safe distance, coldly observing the battle. With a disapproving scowl, he saw his front line hesitate; belatedly, he realized they were reacting to some kind of illusionary diversion. Bothersome, but not important. They would figure it out soon enough or perish. Only the strong survived. He turned his attention to another part of the fight; with interest, he leaned closer. Someone was taking out soldiers slowly but steadily along the left flank. He hit the zoom on his observation scope and studied the sector with care. Then, he saw it... a flash of blond, a skillful play that took down five soldiers in seconds. 

His lips curved into a smile. Although Brian Littrell might deny it, Kael was still alive. Only someone trained in the battle arts could perform like that. Zator gave a short laugh. Whose side Kael fought on was of no consequence; he'd found his target, and his plan could now proceed. 

"Soon, Kael," Zator said at last. "We have business left to finish." 

He sat back, pleased. It was only a matter of time, now. All five amulets were obviously in use and in such close proximity. How very fortunate, indeed. 

~~~***~~~ 

Kevin swung his fist and connected with a satisfying blow. Another soldier down, unable to cause any more harm. He looked around at the large scattering of unconscious soldiers and once more shook his head in disbelief that he'd been able to take out so many in such a short time. He'd lost count long ago, but no matter how many he took out, there seemed to be a dozen to take their place. 

He was about to move on when a small sound caught his ear. He heard it again two seconds later. 

“Daddy!” 

It was such an odd sound in the midst of a battle, but he hurried to find the source. He traced the tiny voice to a cluster of upturned crates and stage equipment; peering into the crevices, he finally saw two wide, frightened eyes. 

"Hey," he called, holding out his hand, "it's okay. Let me help you." 

But instead of the reaction he was expecting, the child cried out in terror and backed up further. 

"Go away!" the child shrieked. 

"It's okay, I'm a friend," he began again. He crouched down to the boy's level. The child screamed again. Fearing that the noise would draw unwanted attention, Kevin tried to calm the boy. 

"Listen, I'm on your side," he said in as soothing a voice as he could manage. "I want to get you out of there and back to where it's safe." 

But the child only wailed louder. Frustrated, Kevin tried to understand. He didn't look like one of the attackers, he was- 

Then it struck him. The child, already scared of the violence erupting around him, only saw his unusual uniform, the garb of Powerlord. No wonder the boy was upset. To him, Kevin was just another terrifying stranger. He ducked a round of laser fire, realizing that someone had heard the screams. Acting quickly, he did the only thing he could think of. The crates and debris were too much for even Powerlord to move quickly; the child was in danger of the makeshift hideaway collapsing with any such movement. Instead, Kevin simply reached up and deactivated his Amulet. Powerlord vanished, and Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys appeared. 

"Hey, buddy," Kevin said, bending down again. "You know who I am, right?" 

The child quieted, regarding him with wide eyes. 

"You were here for the concert," Kevin continued. 

"Y-yeah," sniffed the boy. 

"Then you know me. I'm Kevin," he said. 

The boy looked a bit uncertain but edged closer nevertheless. 

"Why don't you come on out so I can get you to where it's safe?" 

"I want my Daddy," the boy said, sniffing again. 

"We'll find him," Kevin promised. "I'm sure he's looking for you right now. Take my hand and come on out of there, okay?" 

Much to Kevin's relief, the boy finally did as asked. He quickly scooped up the trembling body and ran for safe cover. The child twisted in his arms when he heard a familiar voice. 

"Daddy!" he cried, trying to wrench out of Kevin's grasp. 

"Christopher, thank goodness," a worried-looking man said as he rushed up to the pair. 

"He's okay, I think, but check him out once you both get to safer grounds," Kevin said.<

"Thank you," the young father said, holding his son tightly. The two quickly left, and Kevin turned back to the battle. He had covered half the distance and was just reaching for his amulet when a sharp sound came from the right. Then came a blinding burst of pain in his side as he was thrown backward with violent force. He felt a sharp snap as his head struck something; a split second later everything faded into black. 

~~~***~~~ 

Brian stumbled and leaned against a tree, panting hard. It shouldn't be that taxing... the soldiers weren't well disciplined in the field, and taking them out was easy. Why, then, was he so exhausted? His ribs sent up a pulse of pain as if in answer. Brian licked his lips... the adrenaline was wearing off, and his body had been through a lot only days before. No wonder he was feeling so out of it. 

Just then, a lone soldier came into view. His attention was elsewhere, and he seemed to be slightly confused. Brian reacted quickly, ignoring the protest from his body. He sent a warning blast just in front of the soldier, causing the man to stop instantly. He stepped close, aiming his pistol directly at the enemy's chest. He wanted information that would end the fight as soon as possible. From the look of fear on the soldier's face, it looked promising. 

"Why are you attacking these people?" Brian demanded in flawless Zophacian. "They have nothing you need!" 

"We are not here for the people," the soldier replied, his voice trembling with fear. Brian felt a small thrill at knowing someone else was at his mercy, but the feeling was quickly banished. 

"What are you here for?" Brian then demanded. 

A moment's pause, then, to Brian's surprise, the soldier smiled. "You, Commander." 

Brian's blood turned to ice at the simple statement. His grip tightened on the pistol. "I'm not your commander." 

"Zator wants you back where you belong," the soldier continued. 

"I belong here on Earth," Brian interrupted. 

"Maybe at one time," came the reply. "But now you have no choice. Zator has demanded your… return to his side." 

Brian shook his head. "I won't go. I can't be forced. Earth is my home, and I will not serve that _monster_. He lied to me." 

"Commander Kael should know where the priorities lie," the man countered. 

Suddenly a fury erupted inside Brian, and he spun his gun around, hitting the soldier in the stomach. When his enemy was doubled over, he rendered him unconscious with a quick blow to the head. Now that he knew the reason behind the attack, he was more determined than ever to end it. Brian regarded the inert form; without warning, a memory flashed in his mind. 

_Kevin, refusing to cooperate... he dealt a blow to his middle, doubling him over; he had to set an example..._

It had been the same move he'd just done to the soldier. He swallowed against the tightness in his throat, pushing the memory back into the darkness. With a combination of anger and resolve, he moved to find his two companions once again. Nick and AJ were fairly easy to locate; Brian simply followed the trail of unconscious soldiers. Grimly, he told them what he'd discovered. 

"They... all this is because they want you?" Nick said incredulously. 

"I'm afraid so," Brian returned. "I think Zator will keep sending troops until they get me." 

"We are holding our own here, but if he has an endless supply of soldiers..." AJ shook his head. "We need a plan." 

"Well, let's find Howie and Kevin first," Brian suggested. "We'll go from there." 

~~~***~~~ 

Zator scowled at the viewer. He'd waited long enough; collecting Kael should have been much easier. Impatiently, he pounded his fist on the console. 

"Those incompetents," he muttered. Then, oddly, he laughed. "At least I could have counted on Kael to do the job." He hit the communication button and spoke to the leaders of the troops on the ground. "Concentrate all efforts in capturing Kael, and any of the amulet holders. I want him, now. The one who delivers him gets to live." 

~~~***~~~ 

Howie was watching the soldiers from his above-stage perch when he saw the sudden shift. The men were no longer going in the same direction; clearly, a command had been given. He stopped his illusions, trying to guess what was happening now. He knew that Brian, Nick, and AJ were along the south, he'd spotted them earlier. He wasn't sure what kind of illusion to project; carefully, he climbed down the scaffolding and started to search for Kevin. 

He rounded a corner, on the alert, and was surprised by a familiar face. 

“Zanell?" 

"Howie!" the woman said, her eyes wide. "Thank goodness, I wasn't sure where you were. We've been looking for one of you since this whole horrible thing began!" 

"What... what are you doing here?" 

"We came to see the concert, and to surprise you afterward. What's going on?" 

"The town is being attacked," he said, "but I don't know why. The five of us split up once it all started; I was just going to try and find the others. Something's changed out there." 

Zanell nodded. "I could see that. Sera wanted to check it out, but I suggested we find you and the others first." 

"Let's go, then," Howie said. "Kevin was the closest, although I think he moved away sometime earlier. But I think we should start in that direction." 

"Let's go," Zanell said. 

~~~***~~~ 

Two soldiers quietly moved in a right-handed arc, listening to commands from their squadron leader through their implants. Carefully listening, they finally detected the sounds they'd been seeking. They held their position, knowing that four more of their team was flanking the enemy from the other side. They waited for the command to move in. Suddenly, with a barked order, they were told to go; they lunged forward, guns aimed high. A series of overhead shots, to confuse their quarry... Shouts, a play of gunfire, then their enemy came into view. It was over in a matter of seconds. Outnumbered and outflanked, the two men they'd been seeking stood frozen, surrounded by at least twenty soldiers. 

A report of victory was gladly sent; Zator would be pleased. Two amulets recovered. There'd be no punishment for the squadron that day. The squadron leader stepped up to the captives, and with great care, removed each one's amulet. Without their enhanced power, and with their hands bound, the two now-ordinary men would not be a problem. 

~~~***~~~ 

Brian was nearly to the spot he'd estimated Nick and AJ were when he heard it: a volley of gunfire, a mix of lasers and ammunition. The spurt was short but struck a chord of dread within him. Instantly, he envisioned what had happened. The enemy had used a double flanking maneuver, surrounding the two with superior numbers and catching them in a crossfire. It was a perfect strategy, one he himself would have chosen if- 

He stopped the very thought. No, he wasn't Kael! Kael was gone. It was a move Kael would have made, and Brian realized the truth of it. But he had no time for internal debate. Knowing that the capturing soldiers would be taking their prisoners away, he estimated the direction they'd go. Silently, he moved forward. 

"Impressively well done," said a cold voice behind him. "Wouldn't you agree, Kael?" 

Brian froze. No! He whirled around and raised his arm to form an energy ball. A hand whipped forward and grabbed him. 

"Now is that the way to treat your master?" Zator asked. 

Brian tried to yank his arm free, but the emperor's grip was harder than steel. Still, he struggled. He wanted no part of this monster- 

An unexpected move on Zator's part caught him completely off guard. There was a flash of something metallic, a slight sharp pain directly in his chest... Then an immense burst of pain swept through him, making every nerve in his body burn with fire. Darkness followed swiftly. 

~~~***~~~ 

As Howie and Zanell met Serafina, who was hiding a short distance away, he paused for a second. 

"Are you two all right?" 

"We're fine," Serafina said. "Shaken up and shocked, but physically we were lucky." 

"I wonder what that burst of gunfire was about," Zanell said. "It's a little too quiet now." 

The trio began moving again, trying to figure out what was happening. They passed a lot of rubble, but there was no movement in the area. Serafina spied something just a bit out of place and stepped back to check it out. 

"Wait! What's that?" She stepped closer and bent down. It was a shoe. Oh no… "Someone's buried here!" 

The three quickly started removing rubble from the unmoving figure. When the person's face was finally uncovered, Howie cried out in shock. 

"Kevin!" 

Their friend was unconscious, his breathing ragged. Zanell looked him over for injuries and discovered a bad wound on his right side. Acting quickly, she activated her amulet, placed her hand over the wound, and began the healing. The wound vanished less than a minute later and Kevin began to stir. He moaned and turned his head. 

“Kev?” Howie called. “You okay?” 

A groan. Kevin’s eyelids flickered, then opened. 

Zanell leaned closer. "How are you feeling?" 

He squinted. "Zanell?" 

"It's me. You had a wound in your side that I was able to heal. Do you remember what happened?" 

He lifted a hand to his head, wincing and closing his eyes. "Stop moving so much," he said roughly. 

"I'm not moving... open your eyes again." 

He reluctantly complied, and Zanell looked into his unfocused green gaze. "You must have hit your head," she said with compassion. "Are things blurry?" 

"... a little," he admitted. 

"What can you remember?" she asked again. 

"Help me up," he said, struggling to move. A hand pressed his shoulder. 

"Just hang there for a second," Howie said. "Give it a moment." 

"But the battle-" 

"We split up, and there hasn't been any gunfire for about ten minutes now. We just started searching for you." 

"Why wasn't your amulet active?" Zanell asked. 

Kevin blinked several times. "My amulet." 

Serafina shook her head. "He's got a concussion," she said, worry tingeing her voice. "The injuries are healed, but I think he'll be a bit confused. We can't just sit around here, we're too exposed." 

"Good point," Zanell said. "Let's find somewhere to think this all out." 

"Kev, we've got to move. Think you can sit up?" Howie asked, gripping his arm. 

"Wanted to... sit up a second ago," Kevin mumbled. 

"Okay, well, now's your chance... whoa!" 

Kevin listed heavily to one side, his balance seemingly gone. Howie managed to steady him after a moment. 

"This is going to be interesting," Howie said in a low voice to Zanell, who moved to assist on Kevin's other side. 

It took some pulling, some tugging, and a lot of quick moves, but the two got Kevin to his feet. 

"I'm okay," Kevin said, blinking rapidly. "It's okay..." 

"Let's see if we can find cover over there, I thought I saw some smaller buildings that were pretty untouched," Serafina said. 

Kevin tried to keep his balance as the group made their way in the direction Sera had indicated. They had gone a third of the way towards their goal when it happened. A shout, echoed by several other voices, all in an alien language... suddenly a dozen soldiers surrounded the small group, guns aimed and primed. 

Kevin couldn't seem to make out anything clearly... the figures were slightly blurred and kept going out of focus... but he knew with complete certainty that they were in major trouble. He didn't have any weapons, and he guessed his three companions were in the same fix. And while Howie might be able to create an illusion, he doubted the younger man would be able to reach his amulet before being shot. Hating the situation, but knowing he could do nothing, he simply held his silence and tried to keep on his feet. 

Serafina stepped forward. "Why are you doing this?" she demanded in her native tongue. "We have done nothing to you and these are innocent people." 

"The Emperor wants the amulets, princess," a soldier replied, not taking his finger from the trigger. 

"And Kael," another added. "We have permission to go to any lengths to retrieve him." 

"There is no Kael," Sera corrected. "There is only Brian Littrell of Earth." 

The soldiers just laughed and stepped closer. Soon the prisoners' hands were bound and the soldiers began leading them away. Kevin kept stumbling despite his attempts to keep on his feet. It only earned him jeers and a few hard nudges from the captors. With growing dread and despair, they arrived at Zator's ship. 

~~~***~~~ 

Emperor Zator glared at Kael’s unconscious body inside the prison cell. The man was a formidable warrior, wherever he served. He had been indignant to discover this human serving once again alongside the other Earthlings. Those amulets belonged to _him_ by right! For a time, Zator had Kael use his amulet while serving him; he had been surprised at the extra strength it had given the human. He did not want to dispose of such a valuable fighter, but if Kael refused to help retrieve the remaining amulets, then only torture awaited him. 

His communicator beeped and he pulled it out to listen. A minute later, he grinned. So… all the amulet holders were now within his grasp, as well as his traitorous daughters. Kael had taken his remaining faithful child when he’d gone back to Earth, and that was unforgivable. Everything was going according to plan; now, the true fun could begin. 

~~~***~~~ 

AJ kicked at the wall, muttering a curse under his breath. 

"Chill, Aje," Nick said tiredly. "We aren't going anywhere just yet." 

"That's the problem," AJ said. "I mean... they took our amulets, easy as you please... why didn't they just kill us outright? Ever think of that?" 

Nick frowned. "Well, I'm personally glad we're not dead..." 

"Torture," AJ said flatly. "If they have what they want and still are keeping us alive, the only reason is for Zator to torture us." 

Nick's face paled. "Right... Wonder what happened to Brian?" he continued after a moment. "Maybe he's still free-" 

"I doubt it," AJ answered. "As easily as they took us, and we were a pair... Brian, even with Kael's inside knowledge, wouldn't have stood a chance." 

"At least Howie can protect himself," Nick said hopefully. "I mean, he could make himself look like a tree or something and they'd never know it. I'm betting he's still free." 

"I hope he is because we sure as heck need someone on the outside to help us out of this fix." 

Both men turned silent when noises erupted at the end of the corridor. 

"I demand you release us at once," came an all-too-familiar voice. 

"Zanell!" Nick said, eyes widening. 

"Move." 

"Hey, go easy on him, he's-" 

"Silence!" 

Both AJ and Nick were on their feet, watching the small group approach their cell. 

"There goes that hope," AJ muttered. 

Unhappily, the two prisoners watched as Howie, Zanell, and Serafina came into view. Belatedly, they saw Kevin trailing behind, being prodded and pushed by a soldier. 

"Step back or you will be shot," one of the soldiers said flatly to the two in the cell. 

Knowing the man meant business, AJ and Nick moved back. A few seconds later, all four newcomers were shoved in the chamber, the cell bars snapping back into place. Nick caught Zanell as she stumbled, steadying her quickly. Kevin went straight down, no hope of balance; Howie came to his side instantly. 

"What-" 

Howie didn't spare a glance at AJ. "Concussion," he answered. "He lost a lot of blood before we found him, too. Zanell healed his injuries, but he's still woozy." 

"Where's Brian?" Serafina asked after a moment. 

"Don't know," Nick answered. "We're hoping he's still free." 

AJ snorted but didn't comment. 

Zanell sighed. "They took our amulets," she said. "This doesn't look good at all..." 

"Understatement of the year," Nick said, shaking his head. 

Just then they felt a rumble beneath their feet. The ship was taking off, headed for a rendezvous no one wanted to make. 

~~~***~~~ 

_It was dark, and he was alone. But it wasn’t just darkness; there were things all around him. Something propelled him forward, wandering through the dark. He could almost make out strange shapes._

_Sounds… He paused, listening. Someone was speaking just beyond his hearing. It was getting clearer._

_“…wake up.”_

_Wake up? He couldn’t be asleep._

_“Brian, wake up.”_

_He was being tugged in the direction of the voice. It came again._

_“Brian, wake up! We have to get out of here!”_

_“How can we get out of here?” A new voice… The tugging became more insistent._

_“… before Zator kills us all!”_

_Zator… No!_

He gasped as his eyes flew open. It all came back to him. The fight; Zator finding him and injecting him with something to knock him out. A small throbbing in his chest reminded him of his failure. 

Brian finally focused on his surroundings. Dark brown pants… someone was kneeling at his side. He looked up into a silver-eyed gaze. 

“Serafina.” 

She smiled. “Hello, Brian.” 

He noticed her face was in shadow. Where were they? He pushed himself up onto his elbow—How had he gotten there? —and looked around. Nick and Zanell were sitting together just beyond Sera. Kevin was leaning against Howie, and AJ was pacing back and forth in front of... 

Cell bars. 

"No!" He tried to stand, but pain flared at his hip and he fell to his knees. 

AJ and Sera hurried to his side. "Are you all right?" AJ asked. 

Brian waved a hand at them. "Just a bruise acting up. I'm fine." 

" _Just_ a bruise?" 

"Look, you don't need to worry about me," Brian insisted. 

"He's got a point," Howie said. "We need to figure out a way out of here." 

Brian scoffed. "Another pointless move." 

Confused gazes turned his way. "This place has more security than the other prison cells you were in last year, Fort Knox and the White House combined." 

“How do you know that?” Nick asked. 

He blinked. How _did_ he know that? The reason came to him immediately. “Kael knew it, not me.” 

He hesitated before meeting his cousin's gaze. Fear was the dominant emotion in Kevin’s eyes. Brian changed the subject quickly. "Suffice it to say there's really no way to get out until we're released." 

A noise stopped the conversation; a second later, a tall figure stepped into view. Brian stiffened. 

Serafina stood. "Father, why are you doing this?" 

"Don't call me father," the man spat. "You have no claim on my honored name, Traitor." Zator turned to the others. "I seem to have collected quite a few prizes. It was ridiculously easy; I had hoped for more of a challenge." 

Zanell clenched her fist. "You attacked an innocent town!" 

"So I did," Zator said in a bored voice. "It didn't matter. I have the amulets, and I'm now in a position to move forward with my great plans." 

"You have the amulets, can't you let them go?" 

He sneered at his offspring. "They still have value. I need entertainment, you see. I have many things in mind to that purpose." He grinned. "Many delightful things." 

More than one person in the cell shivered inwardly. 

"We won't cooperate," Brian spat. 

Zator laughed loudly. "Of course you will, Kael. You won't have a choice. Understand that I now hold the position of ultimate power, ultimate control over your very lives." 

Brian's anger hitched up a degree. "I am not Kael." 

"Of course you are," Zator said with complete confidence. "And don't worry, I'll be more than pleased to help you remember your proper place." 

Brian forced himself to his feet. "My proper place?" he spat. "My place is not at your side. It never was!" 

Zator scanned the seven faces before him. "I had hoped you would've realized by now that resistance will get you nowhere. Not only for you, Kael," he said, glaring at Brian, "but for the rest of you. But I know of ways to break the spirit, drain the fire from within." He grinned broadly. "It will make wonderful entertainment to see you hurting each other." 

"We would never do that," AJ said, fists clenched. "You're insane!" 

"Genius is often mistaken for insanity in a lesser being's mind," he said dismissively. "How I will relish the sight of first blood." 

"Blood? Now we know you're crazy," Brian said. 

“You didn’t seem so against it when you served me, Kael.” Zator crossed his arms. "Now, who to choose... I had entertained the thought of keeping the battle in the family." He fixed his eyes on Kevin. "You would have been my first choice, but you are pathetically weak and would provide no excitement whatsoever. A shame, really. But it just shows how sadly inferior you truly are." 

He let his gaze linger over the others. "You lack the fighting spirit altogether," he said with contempt, looking directly at Howie. "It's appalling, your lack of will. And you," he said, turning to AJ, "I'm afraid you waste too much energy using your mouth. A war of words is not to my liking." 

His mouth became a grim line when he regarded the two women. "You, I have other punishments for." Finally, he turned to Nick. "And you... you lack discipline and intelligence. It saddens me that there are no real choices I can make." 

"It doesn't matter, because we wouldn't fight for you anyway," Brian said coldly. 

"Oh, but you will fight, Kael. If you want your friends," he spat the word, "to live, you'll fight. If you win the fight, you will all go free. If you lose," he sneered, "you die. I'll even give you the amulets as a reward if you do win. Which I doubt." 

With an overconfident grin, the emperor turned and strode out the door. When the echo of the closed door had faded, Brian sighed and slumped his shoulders. A few seconds later, a hand rested on his arm. 

“He wouldn’t really make you fight, would he?” Howie asked.

Brian turned to him. “If we want to live, I have to fight. He’ll kill all of us, otherwise.”


	8. A Second Chance by Maggie

Brian turned from his sleeping friends to the door of the prison chamber. Someone was coming. He leaned forward and put his hand on Serafina’s shoulder, giving it a gentle shake. 

Her eyes opened immediately. “Brian?” 

“Someone’s coming." 

Sera listened to the footsteps for a moment and then set about waking the others. Brian heard the footsteps pause, unintelligible words just outside, and then the door slid open. A dozen of Zator’s soldiers entered the chamber; ten paused just inside while two others continued forward. One stationed himself at the door itself, aiming his laser at Brian. The other moved to the edge of the cell arch to a keypad. The musical sequence that would open the cell was not one Brian recognized, but he realized that the codes would have certainly changed at least once in the last year. A double beep indicated the cell door was unlocked. The pair of guards entered the cell and leveled their lasers at the group. 

“On your feet,” the first demanded in a heavily accented voice. 

Brian contemplated trying to escape, but the idea was quickly tossed aside. With that many guns waiting, it would be safer to do as told. 

“All of you.” 

He turned to his companions in surprise. There was a slight hesitation before they rose. Brian began to head over to help Howie get Kevin to his feet, but one soldier stepped closer to him. 

“Out of the cell.” 

“Why do you want all of us?” Brian asked. 

“No questions,” the soldier snapped. “Out.” 

With a glance at the others, Brian stepped outside the cell and felt a small flicker of freedom upon leaving. But the feeling was short-lived when two more soldiers seized him by the arms and began leading him to the corridor. He put every effort into resisting, pressing his feet into the ground, struggling against the hard grip on his arms. But they only held tighter and nearly forced him to his knees. 

“You will live longer if you don’t struggle.” 

Brian froze as the memory came forward of Kael saying something similar to his friends. He’d been so cold, heartless. He was jerked back to the present as he was forced into the corridor. He looked back over his shoulder and saw the others being led out of the cell. 

“Where are you taking them?” he demanded. 

“The Emperor has decreed that they will watch the fight.” 

Brian’s eyes widened. Make them watch? What if he lost the fight? Mentally, he shook himself. No, he couldn’t think like that. He had to win the battle. If he were killed, the others would die too. He couldn’t let that happen. Brian would show all of them that Kael was truly dead, and he would only serve Good. Yet, as he was led away, an uncomfortable feeling wedged itself in his chest and wouldn’t leave. And it had nothing to do with his injuries. 

The soldiers escorted him into a lift. “Fourth level,” came the command. 

Fourth level… Brian struggled to remember what was held on the fourth level of this ship; he couldn’t. Reluctantly, he waited until the lift stopped and he could see what the immediate future held for him. The lift door hissed open, and Brian gasped at the sight that greeted him. It was the training room he’d used a year ago. The soldiers shoved him inside without a word. He couldn’t get his feet under him in time and fell. As soon as he picked himself up, an object was thrust into his hand. 

“My amulet?” 

Zator’s voice filled the room. “I would not allow Kael to be defenseless as he fights his final battle.” 

Brian rolled his eyes as he slipped the amulet around his neck. “It won’t be my final battle and I’m not Kael. Who am I supposed to be fighting anyway?” 

A door on the other side slid open and his opponent stepped through. Brian’s eyes widened. 

“ _Nick?_ ” He looked around. “What makes you think I’m going to fight Nick?” he demanded. 

“Your so-called loyalty to those Human friends of yours,” Zator’s voice replied. “You want to keep them alive? You’ll fight.” 

The lighting changed to battle-ready. Brian groaned and looked over at his friend. Nick activated his amulet and drew a sword immediately. Brian rolled his eyes and changed to Top Speed. Nick sneered and scoffed at him, then lunged. With no time to think, Brian leaped up and over Nick. As he started to twist in mid-air, a sharp pain lanced through his left leg. He hit the floor, but his feet gave way and he went down. Looking at his leg, he gasped upon seeing a long, thankfully shallow, gash from his knee around to mid-calf. He whipped his gaze to Nick, standing there with sword in hand and an unbelievably amused smirk on his face. 

Nick lunged again. Brian dodged to the side, but he wasn’t as fast as he could have been with his amulet because of the injury. He formed an energy ball that wasn’t very strong—he didn’t want to hurt Nick—and threw it at his friend. It missed. The combatants went at each other, engaging in a fight that never should have been. Although Brian didn't want to hurt Nick, the other man was attacking with a viciousness that was alarming. His eyes... they were empty, hollow. Nick seemed to be a shell, a robot without a soul. One that was determined to win the battle at any cost. 

Brian felt a sharp coldness on his right cheek and blinked in surprise. A quick touch... his hand came away with red. He'd been cut! Nick had moved so fast that he'd never seen the blade. The Nick he knew would never- But that was it. This man, this... shell... wasn't Nick. What had Zator done? He dodged a series of throwing stars, barely able to miss the deadly projectiles. He knew that he could only keep up defenses for so long. Already his movement was impaired by the earlier leg injury. He tried to call to Nick, to his true self, and encourage him to fight against whatever had been done. But his words fell on deaf ears. Nick's blank expression sent a chill through him, and he knew he had to act. He couldn't let his best friend kill him, mind control or not. If the real Nick was in there, he would never be able to live with the horror and guilt. There was only one thing to do. 

Brian geared up to full power and created a series of brilliant power balls. One after another, he flung them at Nick. Although the Ninja evaded the first four, the next two hit dead-on. He was slammed up against the wall; and although Brian knew that it must have conjured an immense amount of pain, Nick never cried out. Whatever Zator had done, the control was complete. Grimly, Brian continued. Stunning his opponent with more blasts, he moved closer as the other man struggled to keep on his feet. When Brian got within reaching distance, he changed tactics and slammed a punch to Nick's jaw, finally rendering him unconscious. He knelt quickly and checked vitals. Nick was deeply unconscious but stable. 

A door hissed open from somewhere behind Brian. He froze, waiting. He heard laughter, cold and cruel, amused at what had been done. 

"Well done, Kael. I didn't think you'd have it in you." 

"What did you do to him?" Brian demanded, not moving from his friend's side. 

Zator chuckled, sending a twinge of nauseated disgust into Brian's stomach. "I knew none of you would willingly fight your friends. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. Face me, Kael." 

Brian swallowed. There was that tone. That "you'll regret it if you don't do what I say" tone of voice. One of the many reasons why he'd been so easily bent to Zator's will. 

As he stood, Brian asked, "Do you plan on keeping your end of the deal?" 

“What deal?" 

Brian bristled. He'd known all along that this was how it would be. "If I won, you'd set all of us free and let us take the amulets." He turned to face the evil emperor. "I won the battle, even though I didn't want to fight. Let us all go, free Nick from whatever spell you've got him under, and give us the amulets!" 

"Very well. Take the amulets and leave." He grinned. "Although I doubt _you_ will get very far before you die." 

Brian stepped back. "What?" 

Zator moved closer. "None of this would have happened if it hadn't been for you, Kael. You've caused us all unnecessary trouble; me, these Human friends of yours, your wife and child!" 

"You leave them out of this!" Brian demanded. 

"If you had made different choices, all of these people could have had a better life. You have caused us all much grief." 

He leaped closer. Brian tried to dodge, but even with his powers, Zator was too fast for him. The emperor grabbed his arm, whipped him around, and bent down to his ear. "Now, you are going to pay for all the grief you’ve caused." 

Before Brian could react, he felt something press into his back, right where his heart was. He felt a sharp, quick pain and realized too late that something was being injected into his body. His head began to swim. He felt his body hit the floor; whether he had been thrown or if he simply fell, he wasn't sure. It was getting hard to breathe. 

~~~***~~~ 

Zator watched the young man sink to the floor. "I see you're feeling the effects of the elixir already. Well, I can promise you that it will only get worse. Pain like you cannot imagine... disorientation, confusion... and lastly, death. You're lucky, not many ever receive my most favored poison." 

Gasping for breath, the human looked up at him. Zator chuckled, seeing him pale. Kael tried to swallow, winced, and looked away. The chuckle turned to a laugh. "I doubt your human companions will have much sympathy over your death." Kael looked up at him again. "I was told that the man that calls himself your cousin rejected you, said you were dead." 

Blue eyes widened. "No," he rasped. "It's not true." 

Zator just laughed and turned to leave. "Ask him yourself." 

~~~***~~~ 

Brian clenched his jaw as a wave of pain hit him. He felt a touch on his shoulder, firm but not intending to cause pain. He tried to focus, succeeding after a couple of tries. Green eyes, full of concern... 

"K-Kevin?" he stuttered. 

"Brian, try to focus, we want to try and get out of here-" 

"Is… is it true?" 

"Is what true?" came the confused question. 

"Am I... dead to you? Changed? You hated me-" 

Kevin shut his eyes, his words from a year before haunting his memory. "No, Bri, I could never hate you. We didn't understand about Kael… I wish I could take back what I said." 

Brian closed his eyes and leaned into him, glad of the protection Kevin offered, even if it wouldn't last long. 

"Look, we've got to move here. This might be our only chance," AJ said. "We need to find the antidote, not to mention a way out of here." 

Zanell knelt beside them. "Do you know what you were injected with?" 

Brian struggled for breath. "He... he said it was... favored poison." 

Serafina gasped. Zanell looked wide-eyed at her sister. 

AJ gripped Serafina's arm. "What? What is it?" 

She turned to him and the others. "That is an extremely fast-moving poison. He only has a few minutes left. Father told me once where the antidote was: in his personal quarters." 

"What about the amulets?" Howie asked. 

Serafina stood. "I don't doubt the amulets will be there as well. So someone will have to come with me because once I get the amulets, I'll need some kind of disguise." 

"Then Howie's the logical choice for that," AJ said. 

"Go," Kevin said roughly. "Zanell, see if you can wake Nick. AJ, you stand by... if he's still in that same state, you might have to fight him." 

The oldest turned back to his cousin, trying not to dwell on the ashen face and beads of sweat that were forming on Brian's face. The pain was becoming quite evident; he would have given anything to take it away. 

"Don't leave me alone,” came the desperate, raspy request. 

"Hang in there, cuz," Kevin whispered. "I won't leave you. I promise." 

Zanell knelt by Nick, examining him quickly. She leaned close and called his name, then drew back and shook his shoulder. For an instant, she thought she saw movement. 

"Careful there," AJ warned, bracing himself for an attack he prayed wouldn't come. 

"Nick," she repeated. "Open your eyes." Then she was looking into a confused sky-blue gaze. 

"What... what happened?" Nick croaked. "Ooh, my head... 

"A lot more will be hurting once your brain kicks back in gear," AJ said, eyeing his friend closely. 

"I feel like I've been run over..." 

"Don't you remember anything? The fight?" 

"What fight? Did we win?" 

"Brian won, you lost," AJ said, helping Nick to sit up. 

"That doesn't make any sense," Nick muttered. 

"Not much of this does," AJ agreed. 

"Nick, what's the last thing you do remember?" Zanell asked carefully. 

"I... the guards came for us, they took Brian somewhere... um... then things got kinda fuzzy." 

"Do you remember any flashing lights, low humming noises, disorientation?" she prompted. 

"Yeah," Nick said, nodding. "And there was this voice, it kept telling me something over and over, I couldn't talk, couldn't say anything." 

Zanell frowned. "You were subjected to a massive compressed hypnotic brainwashing session. No doubt my... Zator... headed it up. I've seen it before." She paused, shuddering. "It's highly effective." 

"I was brainwashed?" Nick repeated. 

"Yes, and you were made to fight Brian." 

"What?" Nick exclaimed, wide-eyed. "Is he... what happened, is he okay? Where-" 

"He was injured during the fight, but not fatally. But then..." She stopped, the words sticking in her throat. 

"Then what? Tell me!" 

AJ's voice was low as he said, "Zator injected him with poison, a fast-acting and very deadly one." 

Nick's face paled in alarm and he scrambled to his feet. Quickly, he moved towards his best friend. Kevin was cradling Brian's head in his lap, an expression of stark grief on his face. 

"Brian," Nick breathed. He sank to his knees, not believing what was happening. 

Brian reached for his hand, and Nick grasped it tightly. "Glad you're okay," came the barely audible words. 

"Okay? I can't be okay, not when you're like this!" Nick said. "We have to find a way to... to fix it, you can't..." 

"Serafina and Howie are trying to retrieve the antidote and our amulets," Zanell explained. "Right now, they're our only hope." 

"We need to move to the hangar bay," AJ said. "That's our rendezvous. They won't be coming back down here; they're supposed to meet us there." 

Kevin got to his feet. "I'll take Brian," he declared, stooping to pick up his cousin. "You two help Nick." 

AJ stopped him. "No way, Kev. You wouldn't make it ten feet, much less all the way to the hangar. Zanell and I can manage Brian, you can keep Nick steady." 

It hurt Kevin deeply that he was so useless, but he pushed his emotions aside and simply nodded. 

~~~***~~~ 

Howie and Serafina moved down the corridor quickly. As they rounded a corner, a guard surprised them; before he could raise an alarm, or even speak a word, Serafina stepped quickly in his direction. With a hard, sharp blow, she rendered him unconscious, watching dispassionately as he slumped to the floor. Howie's eyes were wide as he regarded his partner. 

"Wow," he breathed. "How did you... was that some kind of karate?" 

"It's part of the deadly arts I was trained in," Sera said, moving quickly to the guard's body. "There's no time for subtlety." 

"That might work on one of them, but what happens when we get closer to Zator's room?" 

Sera retrieved several devices from the unmoving body. "Let's get him out of sight. And don't worry, I have a plan. If I can play this right, none of the guards will question us." 

Together they dragged the body into a small storage chamber, shoving him all the way inside. Sera turned to Howie. 

"Okay, put your hands behind you." She held up a small metallic device. 

Howie backed up. "What is that?" 

“Binders." 

"You're going to cuff me? But if I have my hands in that thing, I won't be able to help in an attack!" 

"You're going to be my prisoner, which I am personally delivering to Zator. The cuffs, as you call them, go on." 

Howie swallowed. It was one thing to take a risk, but another to volunteer to become a prisoner and brought before the enemy. 

"We don't have time," Sera said, this time with a bit more compassion. "You have to trust me." 

He sighed, not seeing any other choice. "Okay," he said reluctantly. "But what happens when we actually meet Zator?" 

"He won't be in his chambers," she said with complete confidence. "He'll be making plans for his underlings to begin the attack on Earth. It's what he's been waiting for... and he knows the amulets are safe in his chambers." 

Howie winced as the device locked tightly. "I hope you have a talent for acting." 

"You'd be amazed what I can do when necessary," she said, drawing a gun and gesturing to him to get moving. 

Howie paled; the determined look on her face sure looked real. They headed down the corridor, and Serafina gave him a quick series of instructions. 

"Remember, you're a prisoner. You have to act defeated, scared, and nervous." 

"That won't be a problem," he assured her. 

"If you resist a little, once we get to the chambers, that would look good. Um... I'm going to ask your forgiveness in advance in case I have to, er, make it look authentic." 

"O-okay," he said. 

"We've only got one shot at this," she said. "Brian's life is on the line." 

"Not to mention the entire fate of Earth," Howie added. 

They quickened their pace until they reached the final distance. 

"Make this look good," Sera whispered, just before she shoved the gun into the small of his back. 

"This is a forbidden area," said a tall, muscular guard, blocking the way. 

"I am aware of that," Serafina snapped imperiously. "I am here under my father's edict. Move aside." 

"No one may enter," the guard repeated, eyeing the pair. 

Serafina's eyes blazed. "No one? Do you regard me as _no one_?" 

"Uh..." 

"I am Zator's daughter, heir to his throne and empire! I am not 'no one'! You would best remember that!" 

"I'm sorry, but-" 

"I have a prisoner for my father's personal interrogation. He requested a human captive be brought to his chambers so that he could break him, personally. Would you deny your Emperor?" 

"No-" 

"Then I suggest, unless you want to be added to the interrogation list, that you step aside _at once_!" 

Howie felt a slight nudge, and he took that as a cue. Wildly, he wrenched himself free of Serafina's hand and lunged at the guard. Sera let out a frustrated, irritated cry and shouted, "Get him!" 

The guard obeyed instantly, grabbing Howie roughly. The smaller man was lifted off his feet and held aloft. 

"Set him down," Sera said through clenched teeth. "This one has been nothing but trouble!" 

The guard set him down, and Sera backhanded a very surprised Howie. He thumped against the wall but kept his balance. 

"I am going to enjoy watching Father break this man," she said sharply. "Perhaps I will be able to help." She snapped her gaze back to the guard. "The door." 

"Yes, Princess," the man said, hitting a code near the entrance. 

As Sera pushed Howie ahead of her, the guard whispered in her ear. "Make sure he suffers." 

"Don't worry, he'll get what's coming to him, you may be assured. Thank you for your assistance, it will be noted." 

The door shut on a very satisfied-looking guard. 

"Did you _have_ to hit me?" 

"Yes," she said unapologetically. "Now, we need to break into the locked box that holds the antidote. Hopefully, he has not changed the codes since last year." 

"And if he has?" 

Sera moved quickly to a smooth section of the wall and ran her hands over the surface. Finding something only her sensitive touch could detect, she pressed carefully. A small compartment slid out of the wall. 

"We'll know soon enough," she muttered. Howie watched as her fingers danced along a small numbered panel. The softest of clicks finally sounded. 

"Yes!" Serafina exclaimed, grasping the tiny vial that was revealed. "This is the antidote!" 

"Terrific!" Howie cried. "What about the amulets?" 

"Those," Sera said, pausing, "those... hmm. He would want to keep them close. That would mean either his personal console or his bedchamber. The console first." 

She rushed to the elaborate console and frantically began searching through it. She pressed a few hidden buttons, but nothing of importance was revealed. When she had run out of options, she turned. 

"Not here," she said. "Let's hope it's in there." 

Howie followed, his anxiety rising. Sera wasted no time, moving towards a series of recessed wall units. Howie glanced around, expecting to see all sorts of weird things in the room. The only thing he saw, however, was extravagance. The finest silks and satins, gold and glittering gems surrounding rich works of art, opulence that was almost blinding. Somehow he'd expected to see medieval torture devices hanging from the ceiling, not this display. His gaze rested on a small, almost painfully plain portrait along one wall. It was almost lost among the glitz. While Sera worked on a particular wall unit, he peered closely at the image. 

"Yes!" Serafina suddenly shouted. "Yes, they're here!" 

Howie's heart leaped at her words. "Quick!" he said, holding out his hand. She tossed an amulet to him, and he donned it instantly. 

"Let's go," Sera said. "Now you can get us to the hangar bay with no problem." 

Her eyes flickered to the small portrait, and then she looked away with a frown. "Come on," she urged, practically pushing him out of the room. 

Once they had reached the door, Howie activated his amulet; Illusioneer began his work.


	9. A Second Chance by Maggie

They stumbled into the hangar bay and looked around. Which ship would be best for their getaway? They would need weapons. Scanning the ships, Zanell chose the one closest to the group. It was one of her father's better ships, and in view of their injuries, the best choice. She worried at Brian's unresponsiveness and prayed that he was still alive. Turning to look, she was shocked to see that he had lost consciousness. She signaled to AJ to move faster toward the ship.

"How much longer are they going to be?" he wondered as the hatch door hissed open automatically at their approach. 

"They can't be much longer," Zanell replied. "Brian doesn't have much time left." 

AJ glanced around. "Let's get on board the ship and get her ready to launch. We'll have to hope Howie and Serafina get here real soon." 

"I'll take him," Kevin said, stepping forward and indicating Brian. 

Reluctantly, Zanell and AJ turned the unresponsive man over to his cousin and headed for the ship. Nick helped Kevin ease their friend to the floor. 

"This isn't good," Nick whispered. 

"There's still time," Kevin said thinly. "There's got to be." 

The pair heard a sound behind them... the door to the hangar bay swished open, and they braced for an attack. Two guards came running in, and both Kevin and Nick moved in front of Brian's prone body. 

"Thank goodness," said the first guard. "We were afraid we'd beat you here." 

Nick frowned. "Huh?" 

"Oh! Sorry," said the guard. In a flickering, the guards disappeared, Howie and Serafina in their place. 

Kevin closed his eyes in relief. "The antidote?" 

"Right here," Sera said, bending down and breaking the seal on a tiny vial. "This should work instantly if we aren't too late." 

She quickly applied the antidote, massaging Brian's arms to encourage circulation. The gray faded, ever so slightly, from his face. 

"Will he be all right?" Nick asked nervously. 

"We'll know in a little while. But Zanell can help, once she has her amulet back and we're out of here." 

"The amulets!" Kevin said, looking desperately at Howie. 

"We got them too," came the answer. "Once-" 

A shrill alarm blasted through the air. Time had run out. Seconds later, sounds could be heard coming from the corridor just beyond the bay doors. 

"To the ship, now," Serafina urged. "Kevin, Nick, go... Howie, help me with Brian." 

Brian was dead weight, which made it difficult to carry him to the ship. Howie and Sera managed to do so, however, and AJ hit the hatch closure the second they had cleared the opening. 

"Everyone, get in your places!" Zanell ordered from the pilot seat. 

AJ found the weapons and got them ready for when they would be needed. Howie secured Brian on the med bench, strapping him down for the launch. Kevin took the seat next to Zanell, as copilot, while Sera assumed the weapons duty with AJ. Nick took his place at the navigation console and Zanell fired up the engines. Not a moment too soon; the hanger door slid open and a large squad of soldiers poured in, lasers already firing. Two hits made it before the shields kicked in. 

"We're out of here!" Zanell called. 

She grabbed the controls and headed for the outer doors. They started to open as she got close, but froze halfway. Zanell spat out a Zophacian curse and flipped the ship sideways just as the doors began to close again. 

"It's gonna be close." 

Nick gripped his console tightly; the motion of rolling wasn't helping his pain any. A quick glance at Kevin revealed he wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable. No one said a word, however; now was not the time to complain. Zanell zipped the ship through the doors just in time. With a whoosh, the small vessel shot into space and banked sharply to the left. Pursuit, she knew, would be almost instant. Sure enough, her screen indicated a dozen fighter ships heading after them, fast. 

"We've got shadows," Zanell said sharply. 

"I see 'em," AJ replied easily. "Locking on weapons array." 

"They're coming up fast, we might have to do some fancy maneuvering to be effective," Sera said. 

"Not a problem." 

Kevin's fingers flew over his controls, making sure Zanell had proper shield power and engine thrust for the lightning-fast moves they needed. 

"Howie, make sure Brian doesn't fall, okay?" Zanell called back. "I have to get these guys off our tail real quick." 

The pilot used every tool at her disposal, calling out a warning to the others to hold on. In a dazzling display of turns and swoops, she maneuvered the ship so that it was behind several of the pursuing craft. AJ and Sera fired their weapons banks, showing the enemy no mercy. Four ships blinked out of existence. Almost instantly, the fire was returned from the remaining ships. Even quick action and a fancy evasive move didn't prevent receiving hits to the fleeing ship. Howie nearly lost his footing as the craft rocked and pitched violently. 

Nick cried out as his ribs connected with the edge of his console; he barely managed to keep his hold on consciousness through the pain. By the time Zanell and Kevin had brought their ship out of the direct line of fire, he was breathing heavily. A shrill alarm sounded through the cabin; Kevin bolted out of his seat, rushing to the back. They couldn't afford to lose an engine because of fire, that was for sure. Luckily, the blaze was extinguished in less than a minute. Examination and testing revealed they were lucky: the damage was minimal, easily fixed. Kevin went to work at once. 

The ship took several more hits before the repairs were made; once Zanell saw her control lights turn green, she wasted no time in getting them to a better strategic position. Sera and AJ picked off the enemy one by one, a slow but welcome process. By the time Kevin returned to his seat, the ship was ready to go. With Zanell's expert maneuvering and the work of the two on Weapons duty, the immediate threat was taken care of in a matter of minutes. Nick managed to plot a rough course that would take them out of danger; once assured that they weren't being tracked, Zanell hit the autopilot. 

Serafina rose, retrieving the small ornate box she and Howie had recovered. From within, she handed one amulet in particular to her sister. Zanell donned her amulet and stepped up to the med bench where Brian was strapped. 

His color had improved, but he was still having trouble breathing. The princess put one hand on his chest and the other on his head. "Let's see how he's doing," she murmured, closing her eyes. A minute later she opened them again. "The antidote is working, but I'll see what I can do to speed up the process." When she finally withdrew from Brian, she smiled. "He'll wake up when his body is ready, but he's well out of danger now. That was... close." 

"Thank goodness," Kevin said, closing his eyes for a moment. 

"Thanks, Zanell," Nick said, gratitude shining in his blue eyes. 

She turned to him. "Let me see what I can do for you now, Nick. You look like you've seen better days." 

"Loads of them," he replied as Zanell knelt beside him. 

Howie moved back, catching Serafina's eyes. "Thanks for all you did back there," he said. "We owe you... everything." 

"It was the least I could do since my father caused it all in the first place." There was a sharp bitterness in her words. 

"But you aren't your father," Howie said, stepping close. "Not by a long shot." 

“I used to think I was fated to follow his footsteps," she said, looking down. 

"Obviously that's not true." 

She looked up into warm, caring eyes. An unfamiliar thrill swept over her, but she pushed it aside. "I... I wasn't sure." 

"You risked your very life to help Brian... all of us. You are much more than just your father's daughter." 

A sudden tear appeared in the corner of her eye. "I hadn't dared to hope... that maybe I was more like... like her." 

Howie put a finger under her chin and made her look back at him. "Her... you mean your mother." 

"Yes," she whispered. 

"The woman in the portrait... that was her, wasn't it?" 

Serafina nodded. 

"She was beautiful," Howie said truthfully. "I can see a lot of her in you." 

Sera blushed, something she'd rarely done in her lifetime. Just then, Zanell spoke. 

"What portrait?" she asked. 

Serafina sighed. "When we were looking for the amulets, Howie found mother's portrait in father's bedchamber." 

Zanell stood in surprise. "What was her portrait doing there?" 

"You don't know?" 

"Know what?" 

Sera took a deep breath, stepped up to her sister, and took her hands. "Zanell, mother died shortly after you left with the amulets." 

Shock swept across Zanell's face as her eyes went wide. This... she hadn't known about her mother's fate. Nearly overwhelmed by emotions, she turned away, trying to find balance. A hand on her arm... sure and steady, it became an anchor. She looked up into Nick's concerned eyes and, a few seconds later, fell into his welcoming embrace. He didn't speak, something she was eternally grateful for. Instead, he simply held her, letting her know she was not alone. 

The others moved away, giving Zanell time to absorb the news. They were rapidly approaching Earth, and there were many things to monitor. 

~~~***~~~ 

Serafina took a deep breath as she woke from sleep. The past few hours had been very rough and she'd needed the rest. She sat forward in her chair and rubbed her neck, then finally opened her eyes. Looking forward, she saw that Kevin was at the controls as they closed in to Earth. Zanell and Nick were still sound asleep, holding hands. Howie was with AJ, talking in low tones. Finally, she turned her eyes to Brian. She would never have forgiven herself if she had been too late with the antidote. So many people loved this man and his companions that it would have been absolutely cruel if he hadn't survived. Suddenly she realized that cloudy blue eyes were staring right back at her. 

“Brian!” 

He squinted, as though trying to see through a fog. "S...Sera?" 

Sera smiled. "It's me, Brian. You're safe now. We got the antidote to you in time and now we're almost back to Earth." 

"I feel... terrible," he whispered. 

She smiled. "You look terrible. But at least you're alive." 

“What happened? I remember Zator... the pain..." 

"He gave you a fatal dose of poison," she said. "But Howie and I retrieved the antidote. We're almost to Earth now.” 

Brian blinked, trying to recall more details. Suddenly his eyes widened and he gasped. "Nick! We... the fight, he-" 

"Whoa, Bri... I'm right here," came another voice from nearby. "I'm okay. Especially now you're gonna be fine." 

"But your face... I remember-" 

Nick brushed a spot where a large bruise used to be. "Zanell healed me," he said. 

"Healed... the amulets?" 

Serafina spoke. "We got them all. They're out of Zator's hands." 

A wave of relief washed over Brian. Then, he looked at Nick. "Your eyes... when we were fighting. Something was wrong." 

Nick frowned. "I was brainwashed. I don't really remember any details. It's just kinda blank until I woke up after the fight. I vaguely remember some flashing lights... and a voice, but not much beyond that." 

Brian looked away. "Lights," he murmured. 

“Brian?” 

But he didn’t hear. He was caught up in the past…   


_Flashing lights, a face full of dark delight…_

_A voice… instructions… can’t hear, muffled…_

_No one really wants you… All just an act…_

_Worthless…_

_More powerful with me… More powerful name, Kael…_

_It’s all a lie… **A lie…**_

“Brian, what are you talking about? What lie?” 

Brian blinked, gasped, and turned back to his friends. Howie, AJ, and Kevin had joined them; all faces full of concern for him. 

_The lights... I..._ He swallowed. "I-" 

"Bri, what's wrong?" Kevin asked, alarmed at his cousin's pale face. 

"I remember," Brian said distantly. 

"You remember the lights and the voices?" Nick said, eyes growing large. "But-" 

"If you do remember," Kevin said slowly, "then that means you must have been brainwashed too..." 

"Not as strongly as Nick was," Brian murmured. "But... I think so." 

He looked at Sera, hoping that she might deny it. But she just looked away. It was all the confirmation he needed. 

Kevin caught the exchange between the two. "I knew it," he said quietly. "There had to be something that started your path to becoming Kael." 

"Why, Sera?" Brian whispered. "Why did you keep that from me?" 

“Would you have believed me if I did?" 

"I might have!" 

She shook her head. "No, part of the programming was to erase any memory of the methods used. You would not have believed me. So there was no point." 

Howie spoke up. "I hate to say it, Bri, but she's right. You just weren't... yourself. There wouldn't have been a point." 

He wanted to argue but realized they were both right. With a sigh, he shook his head. 

"Everyone in your seats!" Zanell called back. "We're entering the atmosphere." 

Her instructions were obeyed instantly. Soon, Brian felt the rocking of the ship that signaled their entry into Earth's atmosphere. He gripped the bench as hard as he could and tried to push back nausea that was steadily building. Only three minutes later - longer, according to his stomach - the ride began to smooth out again. He rolled and pushed himself up on his elbow, trying to get a glimpse of the front of the ship. Blue sky greeted him from the viewport. He smiled; they were home. 

~~~***~~~ 

A voice called to him, invading his sleep. “Brian.” 

_No_ , he groaned. _Let me sleep._

The voice didn’t go away. "Brian, wake up." 

_Leave me alone._

The voice became more forceful. "Brian, wake up! We're here." 

Here? Where was here? Reluctantly, he pulled himself from sleep and opened his eyes. Howie stood over him, waiting. 

"Wake up, Bri," he continued. "We've landed. We're back in Riverview.” 

He sat up carefully, wondering what kind of reception they would get. The town had to be in shambles, the people- 

"It's okay, Brian." Howie held out a hand. "Do you think you can stand with some help?" 

“Yeah, thanks," he said, rising. 

He found he was fairly stable once he stood. Still, he hesitated. 

"What's wrong?" 

"The townspeople," Brian said. "How will they react to us, to all of this?" 

"Come see for yourself," Howie answered, the smallest of smiles gracing his face. 

Brian raised an eyebrow, but leaned on his friend nonetheless and let Howie lead him to the hatch. He looked out to find at least a hundred people, the sound of their murmuring coming to a halt as they spied him. 

Then, a voice came from the crowd. "Brian! It's Brian." 

He was stunned when, a few seconds later, a sound of excitement and joy met his ears. The people... were clapping. A cheer grew. 

Howie laughed at the astonished look on his face. "Yeah, they're glad to see you. Glad to see all of us." 

"Glad? But... the destruction..." 

"They know we tried to protect them," Howie said. "They saw how we fought. It's different this time, Bri. Come on; let's join the others at the bottom." 

Belatedly Brian saw his friends gathered below, smiles on their tired faces. As he came down the gangplank, the cheers grew until he was nearly deafened by the sound. It was the most profoundly satisfying moment he could remember. 

"This is even better than a concert, huh?" Nick shouted into his ear. 

"Absolutely," he cried back. 

"Give them a wave, bro," Kevin said, grinning. They all turned and waved to the crowd, which elicited an even bigger response. 

Through the excitement, the mayor made his way to the group. 

"This is just a small showing of our appreciation, Boys," he said loudly. "We understand what you did for us. Thanks don't seem to be enough." 

"They're plenty, sir," Brian said. "More than enough." 

The others nodded in agreement. Brian stood, reveling in the positive energy around them. He felt forgiven, finally, in every way. Together, they had defeated evil and made a new start for the future. Although he knew the fight was far from over, for now, it was enough. Together, with his friends, he went forth into the welcoming crowd. He was home.


End file.
